


The Sun Will Rise (and we will try again)

by denialno4



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Getting Together, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love, first fic, i'll tag along as i go, more characters will pop up as this goes on, probably, smut in chap 4
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 10:11:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4621398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denialno4/pseuds/denialno4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The end of the world was real; it was real and nigh." </p><p>The realization crashed down on Haruka like a heavy, ice cold tidal wave.<br/>"The day Makoto is no longer mine alone, that will truly be the day the world will end."</p><p>No, that wasn't completely correct, rather,</p><p>"Makoto was never truly 'mine' in the first place now was he."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the calm before the storm

The summer heat was finally starting to disperse; the air slowly becoming cooler. The scenery around was painted in a soft orange-pink light as Haruka admired the sky while floating alone in the pool, the others having left earlier. The silent boy began to heft himself out of the cold water, flicking his hair to rid of excess droplets. He made his way to the clubroom.

 _Makoto's probably done studying for the day_ , Haru thought to himself. _I'll go pick him up and then we'll head home together_.

He smiled subconsciously at the thought. Quickly toweling himself off and changing hastily, he locked up the clubroom and made his way to the school library, jet black hair still dripping. Striding through the empty halls, Haru found himself at his destination fairly quickly. He opened the door gently, said door rattling loudly despite his efforts.

"Makoto..?" the blue-eyed boy called cautiously. From a nearby table by the windows, Makoto perked up from his work, pushing back the black-framed glasses that were slipping down. "Oh, Haru are you done with swim club already?" the boy asked, smiling.

"Yeah, it's starting to get pretty late, let's go home." Haru replied, walking up to the table which Makoto occupied.

"Mm let's. Just let me pack up and.. Ah!"

"Ah?"

"Haru, you didn't dry your hair properly, that's no good!" Makoto chided.

"It's not that big of a deal..." he mumbled in return.

"It is a big deal though! You're aiming to be a pro swimmer right? You have to take better care of yourself Haru, what if you got sick?"

Makoto reached over to Haru's bag, searching inside for the polka-dotted towel Makoto knew he always used, gesturing for him to get closer.

"Come over, I'll dry your hair before we head out." he offered with a gentle smile. Haru mumbled a bit before he complied to the request, eyes closing upon contact with the towel in Makoto's hands. Though Haru seemed calm on the outside, on the inside he felt his heart beating impossibly fast, his face feeling as if it were about to combust. He thanked the gods he was facing away from Makoto, else he really would've thought Haru was sick because of how red his face must be.

Haru enjoyed the gentle rubbing of the towel on his hair, relaxing back into his large, strong hands. Makoto started humming a cheery tune Haru hadn't heard before, it was probably from one of Ren and Ran's cartoons. He allowed himself a small contented smile, becoming a little sleepy listening to Makoto's husky voice resonating throughout the empty library, and before Haru was aware of it, he was finished.

"There we go! Now let me just pack all my books up and we'll go." Makoto handed the towel back to Haru, who took it and turned around quickly, willing his intense blush to disappear as he stuffed the damp fabric back into his bag.

Makoto hiked his own bag onto his shoulders. "Shall we get going?" he asked sweetly, nodding in the direction of the door. Haru gave a grunt of approval, not trusting his voice to not crack from embarrassment.

The pair made their way out of the school, idly making conversation about the despairing amount of material Makoto had to go over by the end of the week, Haru giving him reassurance in turn.

"Makoto is hardworking. If anyone can do this, it's you Makoto." The gentle boy brightened up at the declaration.

"Thank you so much Haru, I'm so lucky I have such an amazing best friend like you supporting me!" Makoto gave a dazzling smile.

"Same goes for me." Haru replied, offering a small smile of his own in return, playfully bumping their shoulders together.

Recently the two of them have become closer than ever before, something that surprised everyone, including themselves.  Ever since the swim team competed at Nationals, close emotional moments, shared smiles, and physical contact had become a more and more common thing that occurred. Their emotional bond and friendship had reached even greater depths than even thought possible.  
  
As Makoto was explaining exactly the what he was supposed to study for the entrance exam of the university he was applying to, they passed the nearby convenience store.

"Sorry, I'm just going to duck in here for a bit, wait out here? I won't be long." Haru said apologetically.

" No problem, I'll wait for you out here then." Makoto replied, shooing him with a smile.

Haru navigated through the familiar aisles, bee-lining for the freezer. Greeting the clerk with a nod, he placed a simple soda flavored popsicle on the counter. He dug up change from his pocket to pay and handed the money over to the clerk, waving a goodbye as he exited.

"Oh wow that was fast." Makoto chuckled, upon seeing the dark haired boy walk back out of the store. 

"Yeah, just got this." He said, gesturing to the popsicle he was unwrapping out of the blue packaging. Haru then promptly split the popsicle in two, handing the other half to Makoto. Their fingers brushed against one another's in the process. Haru swore his heart skipped a beat.

"Thank you Haru-chan!" Makoto's bright green eyes lit up.

"Drop the -chan." He replied out of habit, getting a start on his popsicle. It tasted like heaven in this heat.

They fell back beside one another, enjoying their icy treats as the two started walking once more. They admired the scenery silently, the ocean to their left sparkling as the sunset illuminated the waves crashing against the sandy beach. Haru glanced at Makoto sneakily through the corner of his eye. Somehow the light had made Makoto even more handsome and beautiful than usual, Haru might even dare say more beautiful than the ocean. His features were softened by the descending sun, green eyes sparkling, his light brown hair lightly tousled by the cool breeze.

During moments like this, Haru couldn't help but think about how deeply he cared for his best friend.

 _I love Makoto,_ He thought wistfully. _I really, truly love him._

The thought filled him with a faint bitter sadness as Haru knew these feeling were not reciprocated, knowing that surely Makoto had never even given it any thought. At most, Makoto probably thought of Haru as just a close brother to him. But even though he knew his kind of love wouldn't ever be returned, just being by Makoto's side like this was enough.

In these moments, when the rest of the world was nonexistent, and it was just _Makoto and Haruka_ and no one else, it would always be more than enough. Risking these moments and their friendship just for a chance for something more was just selfish and idiotic. Haru would take what he could get, and what he got was more than anything he could ever hope for. Yes, this was perfect. Makoto was perfect. Life was amazing right now.

Haruka was happy.


	2. premonition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Now the night is coming to an end,  
> The sun will rise and we will try again."
> 
> Truce  
> -Twenty One Pilots

The next day had impeccable weather as was the norm for the season; deep blue skies complemented by fluffy white clouds floating in various shapes and sizes. The lunch period for the day was almost over, the four boys of swim club finishing up their meals and relaxing on the rooftop.

Today Haru was sharing a lunch box with Makoto. He lingered in the bath this morning for too long, therefore he wasn't able to prep his own lunch. Haru was silently ecstatic at being able to share a bento with Makoto, though he would never admit the reason for soaking in the bath so long. He'd just let Makoto believe he simply lost track of time in the water.

(He was actually waiting for Makoto to come and pull him out, not taking into account that Makoto would sleep in, of all days.)

“Hey, hey!” Nagisa exclaimed, breaking the peaceful silence. “So let's say if the world was going to end tomorrow, how would you want to spend your last day?”

“Nagisa-kun, where is this coming from?” Rei asked confusedly, “I am quite sure that the world will not end anytime soon.”

“Hush Rei-chan it's just a playful question! I was going through one of my sisters magazines the other day, and it was a question of the day section.” Nagisa chimed.

“For example, if the world was ending, I'd want to go somewhere really fun like karaoke and an amusement park, eat lots and lots of yummy food and then walk around really late at night until I could see the sun rise.” Nagisa gestured wildly. 

“Although that sounds entertaining, I think I myself would rather spend my day as I normally do. Routine is irreplaceable after all.” Rei stated, pushing up his glasses.

“Aw, really? Even though the world was gonna end the next day? That's pretty gutsy of you Rei-chan.” Nagisa marveled.

“It's exactly why I'd want to spend it as normally as possible, the thought of the world actually ending is unsettling enough, no need to go out of my comfort zone.” the blue haired boy replied.

“Then what about you Mako-chan?” Nagisa asked.

Makoto set his finished bento down, seeming to take a few moments to think the question over.

“I suppose I'd like to spend it normally as well, spending time with my friends, having a nice meal with my family, playing with the twins, sleep over with Haru.” Makoto pondered. “Ah, but maybe I wouldn't study that day, if the world was going end.” He ended off with a small laugh.

Haru's heart jumped to his throat when he heard Makoto include his name in his list. It was small but it made the stoic boy happy, nonetheless.

“And you Haru-chan? How would you want to spend your last day?” Haru could feel everyone’s gaze burn into him, waiting for a response.

“I-” he started. How would he want to spend his last day? His eyes darted to Makoto. _I'd want to be with Makoto._  No no, he couldn't possibly say that, he would literally combust from embarrassment before the world would even have a chance to end.

“-would want to swim.” Haru finished deadpan, after what felt like an eternity.

The others seemed to stare for a bit. Nagisa started to giggle, Makoto and Rei following suit until giggling turned into chuckling, and chuckling until they all burst into collective laughter. Haru glanced at them with worry.

“D- did I say something weird? Uh let's see, I also want to eat mackerel miso for dinner and sit in the bath?” Haru added, hurriedly. The laughter intensified, Nagisa looking as if he were about to bust a gut.

“That's perfect! That-hehe, that's so Haru-chan!” Nagisa seemed to have trouble squeezing the sentence out, still not finished with his giggle fit.

“It really is just like Haruka-senpai, I don't know why I didn't expect his answer before!” Rei agreed, removing his glasses to wipe a tear that had formed.

Haru felt blushed at his friend’s words, not realizing how easy he was to guess.

“Right? Haru is Haru after all,” Makoto laughed “I don't think I'd have it any other way!” he then grinned widely at Haruka, making the blue eyed boy's heart skip for the umpteenth time that day. The struggles of having a crush on your very attractive best friend.

“Ooh, I want to swim with Haru-chan in that case!” Nagisa cheered, Rei nodding his head in agreement. “Definitely! We could meet up with Rin-san and his team and all swim together.”

“If the end really were coming, I'd really like to swim with Haru once more too.” Makoto said softly. “I'd really like that.”

“What are you all going on about?” Haru mumbled, trying (and failing) to suppress his own growing smile. “Don't worry, the world isn't about to end time soon. We'll swim together for a long time coming.”

The group looked stunned, even moved, all looking like they were on the verge of tears.

“Haru-chan!!”  “Haruka-senpai-!”  “Haru!”

They tackled the stoic boy, throwing him off balance, all of them ending up as a heap on the ground of the rooftop, onlookers glancing over as to see what all the fuss was about.

“C-can't breathe.” Haru wheezed from underneath his friend’s weight.

“Whoops it looks like we got a little carried away there.” Nagisa said bashfully, Makoto and Rei quickly getting off Haru also as to not suffocate their friend.

 

The four boys glanced around at each other. They all smiled, and laughed once more, Haru joining in this time, until the bell rang for afternoon classes.

 

~*~*~*~

 

When classes let out, Haru waited for Makoto to finish packing up so they could head out together. Usually they would walk together until they reached the library, where Haru would drop Makoto off, and then head to the pool himself for club activities. But not today.

“Sorry I forgot to tell you earlier Haru-chan,” Makoto said apologetically “Ama-chan-sensei asked to see me after school for a bit today. I don't know how long it'll be but no need to wait up for me. I'll just head to the library after I'm done so go on ahead, alright?”

“Drop the -chan, also got it.” Haru nodded. “I'll pick you up after practice.”

“Thank you Haru! I'll see you later then.” the brunette smiled and waved a goodbye to his best friend, who was now departing the classroom.

Seeing as he was in no real rush to get to the pool today (he spent more than enough time in the water this morning and was earlier than normal anyways), Haru decided to take the more scenic route to club. The boy strolled idly through the winding pathway that would lead to the small grove of trees out back of the school building, near the club rooms.

The sun was still going strong at this time of day, the bright rays of light filtering through the branches and leaves above, and shining patterns onto the dirt pathway. A particularly strong breeze passed by, rustling the greenery around him. Haru took a lungful of the fresh air, closing his eyes, completely at ease. He enjoyed these quiet moments alone. Soon the weather will become colder and colder, and before they know it, the pool will have to be closed for autumn.

 Though swim season was already over, Ama-chan-sensei agreed to keep the pool open until it was deemed too chilly out to swim. After going to Nationals, the swim team already had been able to attract some new potential members. Makoto retired out of the club early, having to study as hard as he could for his entrance exam in the spring. Next year, Nagisa, Rei, and Kou would be left to manage the club.

The future was coming up so fast; it felt a little sad knowing he had to leave Iwatobi behind. But even he himself had a dream to pursue. The future was coming, yes, but they all had goals and dreams to work towards.

_We will always be connected_. Haru smiled to himself. _There won’t be an end for us._

With a newly restored vigor, Haru started to walk once more, navigating the worn down dirt path with burning excitement to reach the pool.

Someone was talking.

Usually Haru would’ve gone on his way, not taking interest in other peoples affairs but,

It was Makoto’s voice.

_Why do I hear Makoto’s voice?_ Haru pondered. _Wasn’t he supposed to be meeting with Ama-chan-sensei?_

Haru peered around the bushes, pushing a branch that was in his way. He looked around for the source of the voice.

It was Makoto, and a girl he’d never seen before.

Wait no he has seen her face before; she was the girl that always asked to borrow Makoto’s math textbook, although she sat in the front of the classroom. What was her name again? _Natsu? Natsumi?_ It was something along the lines of that, probably.

_Why was Makoto with her?_

Haru remained in his impromptu hiding spot, not meaning to eavesdrop, but also extremely curious to know what they were doing together. Did Makoto lie to him? _I don’t think Makoto would be able to lie well at all, especially not to me. I’d be able to tell._

Natsu-something was starting to speak up now.

“I-I’ve really admired Tachibana-kun for a long time now, you’re always so kind and gentle to everyone. I really love how hardworking you are at everything you do.” She stammered.

Haru froze. It was a confession. A nauseating feeling started to twist in his gut.

“I’ve always watched you since first year, and since it’s our last year here... Please accept my feelings toward you!” Natsu-something finished. She bowed slightly at the end of her exclamation. Makoto seemed taken aback, obviously caught off guard.

Haru couldn’t stand to watch this anymore. He didn’t want to hear Makoto’s answer.

Rushing back the way he came from, Haru sprinted to the pool through a series of short cuts. He craved the water more than ever. It’s not as if Haru wasn’t aware that Makoto had admirers. Hell, Makoto had been confessed to tons of times, all from nice, pretty girls. But the difference was, Haru never _watched_ any of the confessions from before.

When he arrived at the pool, he was extremely winded, not bothering to stop for a break on his way there. Kou took notice of his state, Nagisa and Rei already doing some warm-up laps in the pool.

“Haruka-senpai, are you okay? You look as if you just ran a marathon...” Kou asked.

“I’m fine.” Haru said curtly, before dropping his bag on the ground and whipping off his clothes to reveal the jammers he wore underneath. He leaped into the pool as if he were starved for water.

Kou sighed at his strange tendencies, but started to pick up the mess he left behind anyways. _Still, it seemed as if he was troubled by something..._ Kou pondered. _I’ll just have to ask him about it later._

~*~*~*~

 

This was no good. Haru was already finished with his warm-ups, even throwing in a few more just for good measure, but he still felt sluggish, his movements dull. It was frustrating. He pulled his swim cap and goggles off, and made his way to pull himself out of the water.

“Is something the matter Haruka-senpai? You seemed off in the water today.” Kou handed him a towel.

“Yeah Haru-chan, you don’t seem yourself.” Nagisa added in worriedly from the edge of the pool. Rei nodded in agreement.

“Indeed, I am worried for your well being, did something happen between the lunch period and now?”

Bingo, hit the nail right on the head.

“To be honest, I...” Haruka started.

“I accidentally saw something I don’t think I was supposed to see.”

“Something you weren’t supposed to see?” the three underclassmen pondered aloud.

“Yeah, I actually saw Makoto being confessed to out back of the school...” the dark haired boy finished.

“Makoto-senpai got confessed to? By whom?” Rei asked.

“I don’t really know, some girl in our class.”

“Did you hear Mako-chan’s answer??”

“No I left before I could hear it.”

Kou made a pose, thinking hard about something.

“Though it isn’t quite shocking that Makoto-senpai is popular, can I ask as to why you’re so affected by this?” Kou inquired after a period of time.

“Well...” Haru drifted off, feeling his face heat up a million degrees every second that passed by, trying to gesture but his movements coming out awkwardly.

“Haru-chan,” Nagisa said, voice nearly a whisper. “Are you in love, with Mako-chan?”

All heat and colour instantly vanished from his body, replacing them with dread. Haru’s lips pursed together, his head hanging low. He gave a jerky nod, not trusting his voice to crack.

“Oh Haru-chan, don’t worry, we don’t know how Mako-chan responded yet right?? I’m sure everything will turn out okay.” Nagisa said, trying to make his older friend a little less tense.

“This is quite the predicament, however...” Rei muttered. “How long have you had these feelings for Makoto-senpai?”

“I don’t even know myself, probably since forever? The feelings were always there.” Haru said dejectedly.

“We’ll always be here to support you Haruka-senpai, so don’t ever hesitate to talk to us about this! You don’t have to go through this alone.” Kou exclaimed, Rei and Nagisa nodding in agreement.

“Thank you guys, this really means a lot to me.” Haru smiled a small smile. The others instigated another emotionally filled group hug around the stoic boy for the second time that day. He was so grateful to have such supportive friends.

“Nagisa-kun, you’re getting my uniform all wet!”

“Aww Gou-chan, c’mon we’re comforting Haru-chan right now!”

“It doesn’t mean you can drip on me! Rei-kun, stop him!”

His friend’s antics made Harus smile grow larger, laughter bubbling up from his throat.   

 

~*~*~*~

 

Though his friends tried their best to cheer him up, Haruka’s times for that day were still absolutely terrible. Instead of staying behind like usual, he left when the others did, waving a curt goodbye when they went their separate ways. Today he made sure to dry his hair properly.

When he reached the library doors, he hesitated to slide them open. It was going to still be awkward to see Makoto after what he witnessed earlier. Taking a deep breath, he took the handle and shoved the door to the side.

The library was once again empty, save for a familiar brunette. Makoto’s head was down on the table that he usually occupied. The window beside the table was open and blowing a light breeze inside, causing the white curtains to flow around the evidently sleeping boy. The setting sun made him glow; he looked ethereal, as if he was an angel that decided to grace the earth with his presence.

Haru quietly approached the table, taking the seat opposite from Makoto. He rested his own head on the table, taking the opportunity to marvel at his best friend’s beauty, admiring his features. He gently removed the reading glasses Makoto wore when he studied, brushing aside the soft brown locks covering his eyes. Haru allowed his hand to linger, cupping Makoto’s cheek. He was hit with a sudden thought.

"The end of the world was real; it was real and nigh."

The realization crashed down on Haruka like a heavy, ice cold tidal wave."The day Makoto is no longer mine alone, that will truly be the day the world will end."

No, that wasn't completely correct, rather,

"Makoto was never truly 'mine' in the first place now was he."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phEW i really buckled down for this chapter, this and the first chapter were all supposed to be one full chapter but it seemed i was stuck until i posted the first part LOL
> 
> THANKS AGAIN SO MUCH TO TURU WHO IS NOW MY AMAZING BETA ILY DUDE <3
> 
> it seems i can only write more than 2k if i stare at the screen for long enough. loooots of dialogue this chap, god i love the iwatobi crew
> 
> i listened to "Pretty Girl at the Airport" by the Avett brothers on repeat for this one! also my sad playlist, gotta set the mood~~
> 
> does anyone know how to get rid of my first end note thats under this one 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading again!!! ily all
> 
> HIT ME UP AT drawacircletherestheearth.tumblr.com <3


	3. tidal wave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When the moon fell in love with the sun,  
> All was golden in the sky.  
> All was golden when the day met the night."
> 
> When The Day Met The Night
> 
> -Panic! at the Disco

The air of the supermarket was slightly chillier than the spring weather outside; the small burst of cold that escaped when the automatic sliding doors opened made Haru shiver. He was glad Makoto made him wear a sweater to the store.

Today there was going to be a party at his house, a farewell and a congratulations party for the third years packed into one, thus Haru had to do the food shopping while Nagisa, Rei, and Makoto were busy decorating the house. They were going to have hot pot, as was tradition among the Iwatobi boys. Rin and his team planning on arriving after they finished cleaning up the cherry blossom pool they had at the Samezuka pool earlier that day. Haru mentally reminded himself to get extra meat for Rin to thank him for the surprise.

_Well. Let's see what I need to get_. Haru referred to the list that had been scribbled out before he left.

He navigated his way to the vegetable aisle first, inspecting each item carefully and checking the price before he threw it into the basket. This process continued on until a hand blocked his while reaching for the tub of tofu Haru was about to pick up.

“Ah.” It was the girl who had confessed to Makoto out back of the school all those months ago, her name was Natsuko as he later found out after that turn of events.

“Oh, Nanase-kun, I'm sorry, were you about to pick that up?” Natsuko apologized.

“It's alright, you can have that one.” Haru replied.

“Are you sure?” the girl looked troubled.

“Yeah, this one looks equally good, so it's no trouble.” He started to pick up an identical tub.

“Thank you Nanase-kun, I'll be on my way then.” Natsuko gave a smile and a slight bow in goodbye as she walked away towards the checkout area.

Haru let out a sigh he wasn't aware he was even holding in. He was never really good at surprise social interaction, not to mention it was Natsuko of all people, he still felt awkward around her. Not wanting to linger on the subject, he went ahead and continued navigating through the aisles of food. Haru had a list groceries that had to be bought, after all. He carried on towards to fish and seafood area where he then picked up an obscene amount of mackerel. No harm in picking up his food supply for the week while he was at it...

After he went over the list twice, he made his way towards the checkout with a cart heavy with ingredients. Though his weight training definitely did help with the task, he still struggled with his grip on the large plastic bags the groceries were transferred to. The automatic doors slid open, allowing him to exit the store to the outside, a gust of warm air hitting his face in comparison to when he first entered. He was surprised to see a familiar figure standing beside the exit.

“Makoto? What are you doing here?”

“Just thought I'd help you carry the groceries home, there was a lot on that list after all.” Makoto gave a wide smile, taking some of the bags away from Haru while he was talking.

“Nagisa and Rei seem to have a pretty good grip on decorating the house alone, so I'm sure they'll be fine.”

“Alright then, thanks for your help Makoto.” Haru smiled back, feeling a little flustered.

“No problem, let's hurry back, Rin and the others will be coming soon I expect.” Makoto peered into one of the bags he was carrying.

“Haru-chan.” the boy started.

“Don't call me -chan, what?”

“This one bag's just filled with mackerel...” Makoto sighed. “How are we even going to eat all of this?”

“Be quiet, I decided to buy my groceries while I was at it, not all of it's for the party.” Haru mumbled.

“You need to eat something other than mackerel!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

 ~*~*~*~

 

The two boys made it back to Haru's house without any complications, making idle talk along the way. Nagisa and Rei greeted them from where they were decorating in the living room, taking the groceries and helping them carry the food into the kitchen.

“Do want any help with the food Haru?” Makoto asked sweetly.

“A-ah Mako-chan, actually could you help me and Rei-chan move some things around in the living room? We could really use your strength, ahaha...” Nagisa asked, very awkwardly.

“Hm? Alright then if you say so.” Makoto followed Rei out to the living room. Nagisa winked at Haru before he left the kitchen. Thank god for Nagisa, the boy was a living saint. It wasn't a secret that Makoto was hopeless at cooking. Haru loved his best friend, but it doesn't mean he could turn a blind eye to the boys atrocious cooking skills. Although Makoto was slowly becoming better at it, he still mistook the salt for sugar. Haru shook his head.

 After he finished up preparing the broth for the hot pot, he began prepping the tofu to be cut. Haru was suddenly reminded of running into Natsuko earlier. While chopping up the veg, he recalled what happened after he had his realization that day.

 

~*~*~*~

 

 Makoto,” Haru began shaking the sleeping boys shoulder. “Wake up, let's go home.

“Mmf, Haru-chan? Ten more minutes...” Makoto mumbled.

“Stop it with the -chan, you'll get sick sleeping in a place like this, come on.” the blue-eyed boy said softly.

“Sorry Haru, I guess I didn't sleep that well last night.” Makoto got his head off the table. He began to rub his eyes to rid them of drowsiness.

“What were you doing up so late?” Haru asked, concerned. “Was that why you overslept this morning?”

“Yeah, I couldn't sleep 'cause I kept thinking about the mock-final I have to take at the end of the month,” Makoto yawned. “So I just decided to study more.”

“Makoto...”

“Hm?”

“That isn't any good, aren't you the one that told me to take better care of myself? The same goes for you too doesn't it?Don't push yourself too hard.” Haru said in earnest.

“Haru...” Makoto looked at Haru with his droopy eyes. “Thank you for caring for me so much.” He ended with a sleepy smile.

“I'll try to take care of myself better from now on.” Makoto scratched at his cheek bashfully.

“No trying, you will, no buts.” Haru said with a straight face.

“I will, Haru!”

The pair made their way to go home, the sun lower in the sky than it was earlier. The familiar path calmed Haru. His thoughts drifted to what he witnessed out back of the school earlier.

“Hey, Makoto.”

“Yes Haru?”

“What did Ama-chan-sensei want from you?” the stoic boy asked, hiding his curiosity, keeping down the real questions he wanted to ask.

_Who was that girl you were with? Why were you there? What did you say to her? Did you accept the confession? Do you have a girlfriend now?_

“Oh, Ama-chan-sensei just wanted to discuss some more points on the mock-exam with me, nothing I was completely unprepared for, just a little more information on it. Although…” the taller boy trailed off.

“Hm?”

“There was this girl that was waiting outside the teacher's office, I guess she was waiting for me? Natsuko from our class you know, the one that sits up front?”

Ah. That was it, her name was Natsuko.

“Well she came up to me after I left the office and suddenly asked me to come with her. I was so confused when she brought me to the back of the school, but she ended up confessing to me, actually.” Makoto chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “It was really out of nowhere, I was really shocked.”

“Did you accept? Her confession, I mean.” Haru said, trying his best to sound normal.

_The day Makoto is no longer mine alone, that will truly be the day the world will end._

_Please let today not be that day._

“Actually that's what I wanted to ask you about.” Makoto looked Haruka in the eyes.

“Huh?”

“I'm not really sure how I feel towards her, I mean she's nice don't get me wrong, but I'm not sure I like her in that way, you get it? But I also don't want to hurt her feelings.” Makoto sighed. “I thought I would ask you, you always give good advice that makes sense.”

Makoto grinned. “I also feel lighter after I get your opinion.”

 

“What are you talking about...” Haruka muttered.

“Well I say don't push yourself if you don't feel like you have feelings for her. You're honest so if you do reject her, she'll understand.” Haru said seriously. “She might be hurt, but it would be better for the both of you for you to give your honest answer. She'll be fine.”

“Thank you Haru, I knew I could count on you.” Makoto seemed to take Haruka's words to heart.

“So? What are you going to tell to her tomorrow?” Haru asked. Makoto took a moment to think over his answer.

_Please let today not be that day._

_Please._

“I'm going to reject her.”

Haru let out an internal breath. He immediately felt less anxious the moment he heard those words, although he felt a little guilty that his comfort was given to him in return for Natsuko's rejection. Still.

_The end of the world was delayed, if only for now._

“You're right Haru, it wouldn't be fair to either of us if I wasn't honest with myself.” Makoto declared. “I'm so glad I have such a great best friend like you to help me.”

_You're wrong_. Haruka thought. _I'm not great, I'm just selfish. I don't want the world to end._

Haruka looked out of the corner of his eye to his best friend.

_Please don't let the end ever come._

 

~*~*~*~

 

“It's been a few months since then, huh...” Haru muttered under his breath. He set his knife down and arranged the vegetables on their respective platter. Ever since that day, his own pining for Makoto felt even more intense than before, if not more desperate. It was as if he was pleading someone, anyone, the gods, hell even Makoto himself to stop the end from coming. A sudden knock on wood from behind him shocked him out of his stupor.

“Yo Haru, need help carrying those to the living room?” Rin was leaning against the doorway, gesturing to the platters of various foods for the hot pot.

 “Rin, when did you get here?” Haru was surprised. He didn't expect them to arrive so early.

 “We just came now, I suppose you didn't hear us coming in.” Rin made his way to pick up two of the plates.

 “Thanks, just set them on the table around the portable stove.” Haru nodded in the direction of the living room.

 “Aw man yes, you got extra meat, you're the best Haru!” Rin beamed.

 “No problem, least I could do for the cherry blossom pool you surprised all of us with earlier.” Haru smiled at his red haired friend. He started to make his way to the living room carrying two of his own plates.

The living room seemed larger than before, probably thanks to the re-arranging Rei and Nagisa did. The streamers were artfully hung up on the walls drawing attention to a large banner that had the words “Congratulations Third Years!” written in calligraphy. The table was in the center of the room, all of the others gathered around.

 “Haruka-san, thank you so much for having us over today!” Nitori chimed from his seat.

 “Yeah thanks a bunch Nanase-san, you're awesome!” Momotarou piped up from beside the silver haired boy.

 “Thanks for inviting us.” Sousuke gave a nod to Haru, who gave a nod of greeting of his own in return.

 “It's no problem, thank the others, they came up with the idea in the first place.” Haru said modestly.

 “Well, shall we start eating then, everyone?” Kou asked.

 The room all instantaneously agreed.

 

~*~*~*~

 

The hot pot was a success; the weather outside was just chilly enough to warrant a hot meal. The collective favorite was the meat, though Haru preferred the mackerel filet himself. Even Coach Sasabe and Ama-chan-sensei popped in for a bit a little earlier to give their greetings, and some fruits they could cut up and eat together later. The table was animated with chatter from the ever excited Momotarou and Nagisa. Those two were near impossible to calm down, it was as if they ran on pure excitement all the time. In fact, Momotarou got so excited that at one point he accidentally managed to spill broth onto Makoto's lap.

“Ah-! Hot, that's hot...” Makoto winced a little bit from the sudden heat.

“Momo, What did you do? Apologize to Makoto right now!” Rin demanded.

“Ahhh!!! I'm so sorry Tachibana-san, are you hurt? Are you okay?? God I'm sorry, where are the paper towels, uh….” Momotarou was hovering over Makoto frantically, looking extremely worried and at a loss for what to do.

“It's alright Mikoshiba-kun, the broth cooled down really fast so it's really alright!” Makoto held up his hands defensively. “No need to keep apologizing, I'm alright, see?”

“Still it does look like that will stain later...” Nitori replied.

“I recommend you scrub that with dish washing soap, rinse with vinegar, wash normally, and hang to dry if you want that to get out.” Rei supplied thoughtfully.

“Thanks for that Rei, I think I'll head home to wash up and get a change of clothes in that case.” Makoto said, beginning to get up from his seat beside Haruka.

“I have some of your pants you left here before upstairs if you'd rather just use those.” Haru added.

“It's alright Haru, I should get this out so it doesn't stain first and foremost. I'll be back soon, so no need to worry.” And with a final wave, Makoto exited the house. Haru's gaze lingered a little longer than necessary to where Makoto was before he left. Sousuke noticed this fact.

“I'm going to get some drinks from the kitchen, any one want anything?” Haru asked, heading towards the kitchen. There were various responses that varied from cold tea to cola.

“Wait I'll come too, it's going to be a lot for just one person to carry.” Sousuke started getting up also, following after Haru to the kitchen.

“Thanks for that.” Haru said, grateful.

Sousuke started to arrange the cups onto the trays, Haru getting the drinks out of fridge. Sousuke started to speak up.

“So, did you tell him yet?”

Haru stiffened slightly.

“No need to get nervous, I was just curious.” Sousuke said, rubbing the back of his neck when he saw Haru's obvious discomfort at the question.

“Who do you mean by 'him'?”

“Makoto, who else.” the taller boy said, matter-of-factly. “Did you confess to him yet?”

“How did you even know that I like him?” Haru was confused.

“You make it incredibly obvious, I don't know how oblivious you'd have to be to not know.”

“Oh...” Haru blushed. He wasn't aware he was being so obvious about his crush on his best friend.

“So? Did you?” he brought the question up again.

“No I haven't.” Haru sighed, pouring the drinks into their respective glasses.

“What? I thought you'd have done it by now.” Sousuke was startled.

“His friendship is too important to me, I don't ever want to risk it. Plus I'm very sure he isn't interested in that type of relationship with me, to him it'd be like dating his own brother.” Haru stated.

He gave Sousuke his tray to carry, and they headed back into the living room together. They set the tray onto a clear space on the table, took their respective drinks, and continued their conversation on the front porch; the living room doors open to the front yard to let the hot air from the hot pot vent out into the darkening sky.

“You're probably already aware of this, but you two are both going to Tokyo together right? It's a big city, and university is going to cut right into your schedules, not to mention training and studying. It's going to hard to keep being in the bubble where it's just the two of you.” Sousuke sighed, setting his drink down on the hall porch.

“There's going to be other people, new friends, and it's going to be hard to find time to be with each other. So I say you should just go for it and confess.”

“You seem like you put a lot of thought into this.” Haru looked up from his cup over to Sousuke. “How are you guessing what I'm thinking so well anyways?”

“Trust me, I get what you're going through.” Sousuke's gaze drifted over to the others, who seemed to be caught up in some sort of animated conversation. His teal eyes were fixated on Rin.

“You-” _You like Rin_. Haru finished in his head.

“Yeah, I think I make it pretty obvious myself.” Sousuke gave a small smirk, his eyes closed. “Maybe not as much as you, though.” he finished mischievously.

“How long?” Haru inquired curiously.

“I don't know, how long have you liked Makoto?” Sousuke shot right back at Haru.

_Sousuke was seriously in love with Rin_. Haru took a bit of time to process the fact.

“A-are you ever going to tell him?” he stammered.

Sousuke took a swig of his cola. “Really soon, actually, I was planning on giving him this.” He slipped out a small leather box out of his pocket just long enough for Haru to process what must be inside.

“!! You-!” Haru started off a little louder than normal. He lowered his voice. “You're going to propose?!” he whispered, taken aback.

“Don't worry, it's just a promise ring, nothing like marriage just yet. He's going away to Australia, so I want him to have it whether or not he's going to accept my confession.”

“When? You seem so… calm about all of this.” Haru was amazed at his composition.

“Probably when we get back to the dorms.” Sousuke took another swig. “I'm actually shaking a bit just talking about it, I guess I just needed to let it out.”

“That's pretty amazing, I hope things go well for you. Good luck.” Haru said sincerely.

“Thanks Haru, talking to you about it helped me calm down.” Sousuke smiled a bit. “Oh, there's Makoto.” He nodded in the direction where Makoto was, indeed coming from.

“Good luck with him, remember what I said about Tokyo and confessing. I'll be rooting for you.” Sousuke got up and patted Haru's shoulder, returning to his spot next to Rin. Sousuke was a sincerely good guy, Haru really did hope that things worked out for him.

Makoto entered though the gates, face lighting up when he saw Haru on the front porch.

“Sorry it seemed like it took longer washing the pants than I expected.” Makoto said apologetically.

“Don't worry about it, want something to drink?” Haru got up from sitting on the floor.

“Sure that'd be nice! Were you talking to Sousuke just now?” Makoto asked curiously.

“Yeah.” Haru replied. “Sousuke's a good guy.”

 

~*~*~*~

 

The party lasted well into the evening, until everyone decided to head back home or to the dorms before the trains stopped running. Haru and Makoto waved goodbye to those departing from the front door, watching them off as they walked down the stairs till they weren't in their line of sight anymore. The two went back inside to start tidying up. Makoto cleaned up the decorations while Haru got a start on the dishes. There wasn't any food left, all of it completely devoured by the group of teenage boys and Kou. At least Haru didn't have to deal with leftovers.

_Today was fun_. Haru thought. He felt Makoto sidle up to him, picking up a nearby rag, starting to dry the dishes.

“Were you just thinking today was fun?” Makoto asked playfully, already knowing the answer.

“Oh yeah, then what am I thinking now?” Haru asked defiantly. _I like mackerel_.

“Hmm, that you like mackerel?” Makoto tried.

“...No fair.” Haru pouted.

“Aha, I guess I just know Haru-chan too well.” Makoto sing-songed. Haru really hoped he didn't. He remembered what Sousuke said to him earlier.

_“You make it incredibly obvious, I don't know how oblivious you'd have to be to not know.”_

Haru only hoped to god that Makoto was at least the one person who was absolutely oblivious to these feelings.

He hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning to release this chapter yesterday but after I brainstormed I just kinda conked out so!! here it is!!  
> I live for sou-haru interactions theyd make really good stoic friends theyre so awkward and cuTE
> 
> so the timeline for this chapter goes like this: 
> 
> Season 2-->Chapter 1 and 2--> OVA-->Finale of S2(cherry blossom pool!)--> Chapter Three--> Makoharu Tokyo
> 
> if it wasn't clear enough, this chap takes place right after the samezuka cherry blossom pool! Haru and sou are on good terms bc the OVA would've taken place before the finale end sequence. if you haven't watched the ova yet I highly recommend that you do!!
> 
> Sorry there hasn't been a lot of rin dialogue, I promise he'll be in the next chap for sure, I love my shoujo princess too much to leave him out
> 
> I managed to make this chapter almost as long as what I wrote for chapter one and two combined so im proud of that fact!
> 
> im really tired LOL im going to sleep now
> 
> hurl abuse at me at drawacircletherestheearth.tumblr.com <3


	4. evening tide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Take my hand, take my whole life too,  
> Cause I can't help falling in love with you."
> 
> Can't Help Falling In Love  
> -Twenty One Pilots (cover)
> 
> ((like this specific cover listen to this))

The air felt hazy, Haruka’s body felt unbelievably flushed. He was lying in a bed, his bare skin exposed to the cooler air of the atmosphere; he shivered, goose bumps forming. Someone was in the bed with him, but Haruka could not see them; Haruka’s slender pale back was facing the stranger.

Warm, large hands began to lightly roam his body, his skin felt as if it was burning as the touch left a trail that he felt long after the hands began caressing other places on his body. The touch left him feeling as if he were intoxicated, arousal pooling in his lower body area. The wandering hands were gentle, starting to fondle his chest, tweaking his nipples. Moans flowed from Haruka’s throat like a stream of water into a riverbank.

The mysterious figure embraced him with sturdy, muscular arms, pressing their bodies together. If Haruka had any doubt before, those doubts were surely erased; this was definitely a man’s body. The thick, robust muscles, he could clearly envision the defined frame. It felt strange, the man was a stranger, but Haruka felt as if he were comfortably familiar with them.

The man pushed his lower body into Haruka’s, a bare leg spreading the dark-haired boys own legs apart; the stranger was hard, pressing his dick against Haruka’s ass. Haruka’s cock throbbed, grinding his ass against the man’s own member. The man growled lowly in his ear, eliciting a shiver down the smaller boy’s spine. His strong hands began to stroke Haruka’s hardening dick, circling around the head as a warm mouth sucked and nibbled on the lobe of the moaning boy’s ear.

The strokes began to pick up their pace, becoming rougher. A tight heat began to form in the pit of his gut, coiling, awaiting his upcoming release. He could feel himself getting closer to the edge, his own slender hands gripping onto the sheets for dear life, the fabric bunching up in this sweaty grip. A particularly loud moan ripped from Haruka’s throat.

The stranger turned Haruka’s face to meet his own. This was a familiar face. Green eyes that seemed to glow burned into his own blue gaze.

It was Makoto. His husky voice resounded in Haruka’s chest.

“Haruka...”

 It was deep into the night, the moon high in the sky. Its pale light filtered through the thin blue curtains that were hung up in, illuminating the room in a dim glow. The room was mostly silent, save for the harsh sound of heavy breathing as Haruka startled awake, chest heaving. Haruka was drenched in sweat, bangs sticking to his face, trying to catch his breath. He untangled himself from the sheets, still warm from body heat as they tangled around his legs and torso. He could feel his lower half still trembling from his dream. He wiped the perspiration off his forehead away with his forearm, starting to regain control of his breathing.

Haruka looked to the side next to his bed, Makoto innocently snoozing away on the floor, oblivious to what his best friend was dreaming about. He then glanced over to his digital clock. It was 3:31 AM, the red numbers shining obnoxiously through the dark of the room. Haruka sighed; his head relaxing back onto his pillow. He pulled the sheets up to his shoulders and shut his eyes, trying his best to fall back asleep.

Rolling onto his side, his blue eyes shot open; his lower body was uncomfortably aroused. Haruka let out a groan of frustration. He wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep until he took care of his problem. He bit into his nightshirt as to ensure no sound would escape from his mouth.

His body heated as his hand moved downwards to massage the front of his boxers, the heat from his pulsating member becoming the least bit more bearable at the pressure. His eyes slid over to Makoto, still currently dead asleep in his futon, a peaceful expression on his face. Haru felt guilty that he was doing such a dirty thing with his best friend in the same room, asleep or not. Still, he could not bring himself to move from his position to do his business in the bathroom, a nameless force urging Haruka to stay. He could feel the wet spot spreading further on the fabric of his underwear.

Soon enough, he realized that grinding his palm into his crotch wasn’t enough anymore. Cursing his teenage hormones, Haruka slipped his hand into his boxers. He sighed in relief at the direct contact. His right hand circling the length lightly at first, stroking idly along his member, mimicking the strong hands he dreamt about earlier.

He imagined the stranger that had Makoto’s hands, Makoto’s touch, Makoto’s face; Makoto’s eyes. The brilliant green shone brightly in his mind, the blue of his own eyes staring, mesmerized by them. He shuddered, recalling the husky call of his own name being whispered seductively into his ear. The other hand was tracing his torso; all the while he was imagining that both hands were someone else’s, someone with large strong hands, with an angelic smile, with impossible shades of green in their eyes. He remembered his own blue eyes staring into the familiar endless green from his dream.

Pinching his hardening nipple, Haruka bit his lip, whining softly at the action, his body sensitive. Glancing over once more to make sure the sound did not wake up his sleeping neighbour, he continued.

Haruka wrapped his hand around the base of his length firmer now, lightly moaning at the sensation of the slow repetitive up and down movement. His finger stroked at the underside of the head, his dick pulsed, a small gush of pre-cum further staining his boxers. He pushed the undergarments down to his knees, a small gasp escaping when he felt the cool air hitting the heated sensitive organ. 

He was close. He wrapped his hand firmly around the dripping head, his dick slick with pre-cum. He quickened his pace, matching Makoto’s in his dream. The familiar heat was starting to coil in the pit of his stomach once more. Little gasps escaped Haruka at this point, despite his effort. His hand was soaked with pre-cum, making scandalous squelching sounds that resonated through the room. He couldn’t even bring himself to care at this point. He desperately stroked his painfully hard cock. He was almost there. There was a rustling sound accompanied by movement from the futon that lay beside his bed. Makoto mumbled softly, his husky voice breaking through the erotic soundtrack Haruka was making. Makoto turned over on his side, his front facing over to Haruka. He mumbled out something, it was so faint that you could barely hear it if you weren’t listening to it, but currently Haruka’s senses were heightened with arousal and fear.

“Mmrgh, Haru-chan...”

Haruka came immediately all over his hand, his release hitting him hard. He humped his hand, riding out his orgasm. Muffled moans, which suspiciously sounded as if he was calling out his sleeping best friends’ name, filled the air. He bit into his nightshirt with ferocity, desperately trying to keep quiet. Soon, he came down from his high after awhile.

Haruka looked at his cum-covered hand guiltily; wiping it with tissues he kept by his bed for occasions like this. He moved to make his way out of bed, tiptoeing around Makoto’s futon. He made a disgusted face, his damp boxers uncomfortable to move around in. He dug his hand into his dresser drawer blindly, fishing out a pair of clean boxers. Haruka made his way out of the bedroom, looking back at Makoto, before closing the door behind him as quietly as he could.

He let out a sigh he wasn’t even aware he was holding, pausing outside the door. He started to feel the shame start to catch up with him now as he headed towards the bathroom to properly clean up.

His bare feet padded along the wood hallways of his house quietly, a few gentle creaks sounding when he stepped on a few aging boards. He stripped his sweat-soaked nightshirt and dirty boxers and threw them into the laundry basket haphazardly, dropping his clean pair onto the laundry folding table.

Haruka entered the bathroom, settling down in front of the shower head. He twisted the knobs and settled for a pleasant lukewarm temperature. As the water cascaded down on his bare body, he reached over for the soap. He scrubbed his body clean of sweat and other bodily fluids, bubbly suds washing off into the drain. Haruka repeated the pattern. He started to wash his hair, grabbing the shampoo, following up with some conditioner. He heard a loud electronic chime coming from the living room. He shut off the water and started to dry himself off, leaving the room to enter the laundry room that resided outside of the bathroom once more. He began to put on the clean pair of boxers and started searching the dryer for some clothes he didn’t yet fold and put away. He was satisfied when he found his black sweater and a pair of sweatpants, slipping those on as well. Haruka made his way toward the living room.

In the living room, his phone laid in the centre of the table, blinking with a small light notifying him that there was as unread message. Confused as to who would message him so late at night, Haruka reached over to inspect his mobile device. Unlocking the screen, he navigated his way towards his texting icon. It was from Rin. He clicked to open the text.

**To: nanase_haru1997@iwatobigogo.jp**

**From: matsuoka_rin1997@samezukagogo.jp**

**Sent at: 3:47 AM, XX/XX/14**

Hey, call me when you get this. It’s important.

Make sure you’re alone.

Haru was still puzzled, his last question replaced with another question. Why would Rin need to talk to him at nearly four in the morning? Did he want to go swimming? But at four in the morning? Still, Haru clicked on the little phone icon right next to Rin’s contact information. He opened the door to the front porch, closing it on his way out, not wanting the chill of the night to seep into the warmed house. He sat down on the cool wood, bringing the phone to his ear and waiting for Rin to pick up. It was 3:51 AM now, only a few minutes have passed since the message was sent so Rin was probably still awake. The night air was chilly, Haru started to shiver a little; glad he was wearing his thick sweater. Rin finally picked up.

“Rin? What do you need to talk about; it’s almost four in the morning.” Haru asked.

“Yeah, sorry about that Haru, were you sleeping?” Rins voice came out tin-sounding through the phone receiver.

“No I was awake, what do you need? Where are you right now?”

“I’m outside of the dorm, by the drink machines. Are you alone?”

“Yes, don’t worry.” Haru replied in exasperation.

“Ok, ok I’ll tell you!” Rin said, getting the hint. “So what happened was...”

“Sousuke confessed to me.” The red-haired man finished.

That was right. Sousuke did mention he was going to do that before.

“Oh, really?” Haru feigned ignorance.

“Yeah, he even gave me a promise ring but the thing is...”

“The thing is? Finish your sentences.” Haru just wanted Rin to get to the damn point.

“Well excuse me! It’s not every day that your best friend confesses to you, you know!” Rin exclaimed. “I don’t even know what to do, I’ve never even thought about him that way.”

A hint of panic could be heard from his voice. Haru suddenly remembered that being attracted to males, nonetheless your best male friend usually wasn’t considered the norm. That might be a problem.

“Well.” Haru tried to think of something to say. Rin groaned.

“Well?? What should I do Haru? I’m asking for your advice here!”

“How about,” Haru started. “You start thinking about him in that way now?”

“Huh?” Rin said eloquently.

“You said you never thought about him in that way before right? Well, try to think of him as a romantic interest now.” Haru clarified. He gave Rin a few moments to think.

The dark-haired boy would’ve thought that would’ve been a pretty standard train of thought, but after talking with Rin, he supposes not after all. Rin could be smart, but at other times he could be awfully dense. If Sousuke was being as obvious as he said about it, surely he would’ve been able to pick up some hints, but of course that wasn’t the case. Haru sighed and shook his head.

“Hey! I heard that!” Rin snapped.

“Yeah, yeah, did you think about it?”

“Uh well,” The sound of Rin scratching his head could be heard faintly through the speaker. “I mean I don’t think it’d be super weird to date a guy, and Sousuke is one of the best guys I know.”

“Anything else?” Haruka prompted.

“He’s my best friend too, and I care about him a lot. I’m super jealous how easily he gains muscle though, it’s unfair. Also even though we have little spats sometimes, he can be really sweet at times too. He’s pretty handsome I suppose as well.”

“Rin.”

“Also, when he smiles he looks amazing? He should really smile more often..." Rin kept on rambling. "Sousuke will only order the pork-cutlets in the cafeteria during lunch, it's kinda cute how much he likes it.”

“Rin.”

“And sometimes I think he might be letting me win at rock paper scissors? He can do literally anything, he can cook, clean, anything really. The only thing is that he'll get lost like an idiot, no sense of direction at all.” A little snicker could be heard after he said that.

_“Rin.”_

“Hm?”

“It sounds like you already liked him in the first place...” Haruka sighed, really how has Rin _not_ realized this fact any sooner?

“Seriously?” Rin genuinely seemed surprised.

“Yeah, you’re totally in love with the guy, I’m really surprised how you didn’t know in the first place.”

Rin was even denser than Haru thought.

“Holy shit I’m love with Sousuke...” Rin trailed off.

“Mhmm. So, what’re you going to respond to his confession with then?”

“The confession...” Rin seemed dazed from the realization. His breath hitched as the thought caught up with him; causing him to cough violently. It sounded as if he was hacking up a lung.

“Rin? What happened?”

Rin could be heard trying to clear his throat.

“Kh-ahem. It’s alright; I’m okay now-koff!” The blush he wore could be heard through the tinny speaker. There was apprehension in his voice as he started up once more.

“Well I would, but...”

“What now?” Haru was becoming annoyed at his friend’s fussiness at the subject.

“I’m going to Australia aren’t I?” Rin’s voice was uncharacteristically hushed. “Won’t it be hard to keep our relationship up from such a far distance? I don’t want him to go through pain and loneliness just because he chose me as a partner. It would be better for him to be with someone who’s closer; for the both of us.” His tone was somber at this point.

“Rin, shut up.”

“Hey!”

“Do you really think that?” Haru questioned. “Don’t you think Sousuke would’ve already thought this through? He doesn’t want anyone else but you; he’s ready for you going to Australia. He loves you Rin.”

“Haru...” Emotion could be heard building up in Rin's voice.

“And you love him too! So stop being dumb about it, go back to your dorm, wake him up, and kiss the living daylights out of him! Right now!”

“Haru,” Rin started to sniffle. “Thank you, so much...” His voice was teary.

The stoic boy huffed. “No problem, I’m happy for the both of you. Give Sousuke my congratulations.”

Rin began to collect himself together, wiping at his eyes harshly. He sniffled a little before he began talking again.

“So, enough about me; how are you doing with Makoto?”

It was Haru’s turn to sputter this time, the question catching him off guard.

“What about us?” Haru asked, still coughing.

“Well? Have _you_ confessed to him yet? It’s been ages, you’ve been in love with him for forever, it hurts just looking at you two together.” Rin’s voice was laced with curiosity.

“You’re so meddlesome...” Haru muttered.

“C’mon, stop avoiding the subject!”

“There’s no subject _to_ avoid. There’s nothing but mutual friendship between the two of us.” Haru said in a finalizing tone.

Rin pondered this statement.

“Are you sure? That it’s all that’s to it?” Rin inquired. “Don’t you think Makoto could feel the same about you too?”

“Makoto doesn’t like me in that sense, and that’s that.” Haru replied. As he said that, it felt as if there was a ball of dread forming in the pit of his stomach. He was already well aware of the fact, but saying it out loud always filled him with a bitter sorrow.

“Man, Haru you can’t just conclude it like that. You’re going to have to try sooner or later.” Rin argued. “He looks at you like you’re the whole world.”

“But I know I’m not.” _Because I look at him like he’s my world,_ Haru thought. “Trust me; I would be able to tell.”

“Tch. I’m just saying, y’know? It really couldn’t hurt to try; you’re both heading to Tokyo afterall.” Rin huffed. “Everything you know might be about to change. It’s completely different than tiny Iwatobi.”

“I know already, I’m fine with things the way they are.” Haru drew his eyebrows together, pressing his thin lips together. He already knew, painfully well.

Rin could be heard scratching his neck again. “Well, I guess if you already know...” he said, letting go of the subject. “I just want you to be happy with him.” He concluded.

“Thanks, Rin.” Haru said, his tone and facial features softening. “It’d be nice, but it’s just not possible. I already know.”

“If you say so...” Rin trailed off into a yawn. “Holy hell, it’s already this late? Sorry if I kept you up Haru, I’m going to head over to my room now.”

“Alright, goodnight Rin.”

“Night!” The phone beeped as the call was ended.

Haru checked the time on his phone, the digital numbers stark against his blank screen. According to the device, it was already 4:17 in the morning but Haruka could not feel more awake. No point in trying to get back to sleep now, he supposed. He set his phone down onto the wooden hall porch, observing his dark garden lit by the moonlight, the fallen cherry blossom petals almost glowing on the ground. His thoughts lingered on the conversation that just took place between Rin and himself.

He was truly happy for Sousuke and Rin, Haru could see as well as anyone else how well they meshed together. They would be a splendid couple; you didn’t see a match that well very often these days. But through the happiness he felt for his two friends, there was a whisper of heartache that cut through it.

He knew Makoto didn’t love him as a lover, he acknowledged the fact; no matter who tried to change his mind on the matter. But it didn’t mean that it didn’t feel as if his chest was going to cave in from the sorrow, the breath knocked out of his lungs. It felt as if Haruka wasn’t able to breathe from the immense pain, as if he were drowning in the ocean.

Every time Makoto gave him a smile, offered his hand, laughed as the sun hit him at the right angle, all of it filled Haruka with heartache. It was absolute torture. He would pretend that Makoto loved him also, at times like these, but Haruka could not ignore the feeling of agony straight after, fully aware of his unreciprocated feelings. It was better to deal with the cold, hard fact, instead of daydreaming on the ‘what could be’.

The lights from the living room came on abruptly, knocking Haruka out of his thoughts. He turned his head, picking up his phone and his self from the ground, getting up to open the screen doors. There was a clattering sound coming from the kitchen next door. Two light blankets were sloppily laid on the table, half sliding off onto the floor. The kettle began to whistle. A familiar voice rang through the air, dulled by the walls.

“Haru? Is that you?”

“Makoto?” Haru began to make his way to the kitchen, popping his head through the doors entrance.

“There you are, I was about to call you!” Makoto exclaimed. “I was worried, when I woke up you weren’t in your bed!”

“Sorry, Rin called me.” Haru conveniently left out what he was doing before the call, turning his head.

“Oh, did something happen?” Makoto sounded worried. He was setting up for tea on the tray, pouring the boiled water into the cups.

“Mm, he and Sousuke are going to be a couple now.” Haru said bluntly. Makoto sputtered.

“Are you serious? That’s great! I’m so happy for them; we should get them a congratulatory gift!”

Haru laughed a little from his friend’s excitement.

“It’s not as if they’re going to get married just yet.” _Though they act as if they were a married couple already_ , Haru thought silently. Makoto looked at Haru’s face, no doubt being able to read what was silent.

“Then let’s take them out to dinner.” Makoto concluded with a smile. He picked up the tray, starting to walk to the living room, Haru following behind him.

“So why did you wake up?” Haru asked.

“Hmm, just randomly I suppose? Maybe I couldn’t sense you beside me, aha.” Makoto chuckled lightly. A small blush spread across Haru’s face at the innocent comment.

Settling down into his seat at the table, Haru reached for a cup of tea that was set on the tray. He didn’t realize how cold he was until he felt the burning of the ceramic. Makoto wrapped one of the blankets around Haru; they were soft and warm, Haru snuggled further into the fabric. One of Makoto’s strong, warm hands touched Haru’s face.

“Oh gosh, Haru, you’re so cold! And you’re face is red! You stayed outside for too long, you’re going to be sick!”

_His strong hands began to stroke Haruka’s hardening dick, circling around the head as a warm mouth sucked and nibbled on the lobe of the moaning boy’s ear._

The warmth of Makoto’s hand reminded him of the indecent dream Haru had earlier. He flinched away from the palm. Makoto seemed shocked at his friend’s negative reaction, hand jolting. Haruka only realized what he had done a moment after. He apologized with his eyes downcast, Makoto seeming to accept the silent apology, giving a nod back.

“I’ll be fine, thank you for the tea.” Haru was still filled with shame, the guilt hitting him full force now that Makoto was face to face with him. He blew lightly on the steaming tea in his hands.

“No problem, Haru.” The larger boy picked up a cup of his own, sipping at it immediately, and regretting it seconds after as the beverage burned his mouth.

“Owch, owch! Owowow that’s hot-!!” He fanned at his tongue, tears starting to form at the corners of his eyes. Haru let out a small giggle at his best friend’s antics.

“You’re so dumb.” Haru smiled over at him.

“Mean! You’re so mean Haru-chan!” Makoto accused.

“Drop the –chan.” Haru replied like clockwork.

“I’ll drop it when you take it back!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Haru sipped at his now acceptably warm tea. Makoto pouted, giving a forced glare at the smugness of his action. The light atmosphere was restored.

_The stranger turned Haruka’s face to meet his own. This was a familiar face. Green eyes that seemed to glow burned into his own blue gaze._

 

_It was Makoto. His husky voice resounded in Haruka’s chest._

 

_“Haruka...”_

 

Haru shook his head, trying to erase the thought from his mind. He just wanted to have a friendly teatime with his best friend at god knows what time in the morning. He didn’t need his hormones to ruin the mood. Just for once, he begged his mind to work with him; just for _once_ to not want more than what was already in place.

Makoto gave a small questioning sound, curious as to what Haru was shaking his head at.

“Don’t worry about it.” Haru responded, continuing to drink his tea.

_Just for once._

_Let me love him in silence._

 

_Don’t let him know._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO SO I HAVEN'Y UPDATED IN A WHILE smut is super hard to write it took me like a week and the rest a whole other week
> 
> i gotta keep track of all these limbs and shit, so the ratings definitely going to go up! haru u dirty, dirty boy  
> there are too many words for dick
> 
> im super sick rn but hey at least i finally got off my lazy butt and finished the rest of this! 4k just for u guys <3
> 
> first part is beta'd but the rest isn't so let me know if anythings off! its like almost 4 am here im so tir e d
> 
> hope u all missed me bc i missed all of you! Thanks so much to those who've left kudos and bookmark this fic!
> 
> a special thank you to Turu for being my wonderful beta as always and Ven for helping me move the plot along, yall are the best <33333
> 
> ok ill stop talking now ;)
> 
> beat me up at drawacircletherestheearth.tumblr.com ;^)


	5. understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm caught under water and I'm falling farther,  
> My heart's getting harder, I'm calling my father,  
> Am I screaming to an empty sky?"
> 
> Anathema  
> -Twenty One Pilots

“Haru? Are there any more boxes?” Makoto called from over his shoulder from the interior of the apartment. He set down the heavy package he was carrying onto the hardwood floor. “Oof, there we go.” the boy said, wiping the sweat on his brow that had formed from the physical exertion.

“I think that's the last of them.” Haruka replied, entering the room with a significantly lighter box shortly after Makoto.

“Oh thank goodness.” Makoto flopped onto the floor, the coolness of the hardwood contrasting against his heated skin. The tired boy let out a drawn out groan, his hand lazily snaking up his light t-shirt to scratch idly at his stomach. He grimaced at his own sweat-soaked state.

“Man, a bath would be great right about now huh.” he sighed.

Haruka's expression seemed to sparkle at the mention of water. Makoto let out a small chuckle at his friends reaction.

“Well, maybe after we're done unpacking all these boxes.” Makoto smiled mischievously, sitting up from his position to gesture at the numerous cardboard boxes that littered the floor of the otherwise empty apartment.

The blue-eyed boy began to grumble under his breath at the tiresome thought of the chore. Haruka then began to kneel down to unzip a large duffel bag that was alongside one of the boxes. His hand moved around aimlessly in it's depths, unable to find what he was looking for.

Makoto let his eyes slowly close shut, senses tuning in through the silence to pick up the tiny details of the late morning. The warm of the rays that shone through cheap, thin curtains were comfortable to bask in, even if the harsh light of the sun wasn't preferable. He could hear Haru shuffling around the contents in the duffel bag, still not being able to find what he was looking for. The faint sound of birds chirping could be heard in the distance, the chatter of human activity coming to life as the drowsy commuters had their first coffees of the day were heading off to destinations unknown.

Makoto took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. Both of the boys woke up particularly early that day, and the larger of the two began to feel his fatigue slowly start to catch up to him. Hopefully by the end of unpacking he would have time to turn in early for the night. He felt a sudden coldness make contact with his left cheek, shocking him out of his relaxed state. Makoto let out a sudden, loud yelp at the sensation.

His soft green eyes snapped open to make eye contact with Haru's own deep azure. The raven-haired boy was looming over Makoto, who was still in his sitting position. Haruka was holding two plastic cups, both almost filled to the brim with a chilled beverage.

“Here, cold barley tea,” Haruka clarified. “Sorry there isn't any ice, it seems it melted. At least the thermos kept it cold.” He shrugged, handing over one of the cups to Makoto.

Makoto shook his head back and forth rather quickly. “No, this is perfect!” he exclaimed, taking a hearty gulp of the golden-brown liquid. The tea was smooth and he tasted a faint sweetness, going down his throat wonderfully. It felt as if it had cooled down his overheated body. Makoto ended up downing the drink in one go. He made a small sigh of satisfaction, taking the cup away from his lips.

Makoto gave a toothy grin “Thank you Haru! I think I really needed that, I feel totally refreshed now.” He handed back the now-empty cup to Haruka, who went to take it.

“Geez...” Haruka shook his head in good humor, a small smile of his own peeking out. When he reached to take the cup from his friend, their fingers made contact. Haruka, who seemed flustered at the accidental contact, fumbled the cup that was loose in his grasp. The cup hit the floor, the clattering of the plastic not particularly a loud sound, but Haruka's face seemed to flush anyways.

“Aah, sorry Haru,” Makoto took the cup from the place it settled on the ground next to him. “It's good that it wasn't made of glass, but I'll try to be more careful next time!” He cocked his head to the side a little, offering a soft smile and handing the cup once more to Haruka, who clutched it with a firmer grip.

Haruka brought a fist up to his mouth, clearing his throat. “No, it was my fault. Don't worry about it.” he mumbled apologetically, turning his face in a way that didn't allow Makoto to see what expression he was making.

“I'm,” He started off, trailing off a bit at the end of his single word declaration. “going to go unpack some stuff for the kitchen.” he spoke quietly, as if he were trying not to wake someone. Haruka turned around swiftly, and hefted a box appropriately labeled “KITCHEN” on the side in dark, bold letters. He headed off into said room, as if he were escaping the silent atmosphere that he had created.

“Then I'll come help, in that case.” Makoto started to lug himself up to a standing position.

“No, it's alright I can do it by myself.” Haruka called out from the adjoining room, in a seemingly commanding tone. Makoto started to sit back down onto his spot on the floor.

The soft smile Makoto wore was now beginning to slip off as he watched Haruka shuffle away towards the kitchen. He gazed with a contemplative expression, which was on the verge of being wistful, before turning his head to the side to stare out the bright window in thought.

 

_He's doing it again today too,_ Makoto noted silently.

 

His head spun, trying to dig through his memories to remember how long his friend had been acting strangely. _It's been awhile, but it was probably around the time we graduated. Yeah, it was around the time we had that party at Haru's house. Had it already been that long?_

His soft lips pursed together, deep in thought. _Had I done something wrong, something to upset Haru?_ He sighed lightly, bringing a hand up to push back his bangs. He stared intently at his hand, closely inspecting it. It was just his hand, nothing out of the ordinary, the palms we slightly calloused from heavy work and the chlorine in the pool water, but other than that they were rather smooth and soft. The structure was solid, with a few birthmarks here and there scattering the tanned skin. Nothing out of the ordinary. Though Makoto's hands were perfectly normal, Haruka had still been shying away from his touch more often than usual lately. He let out a sigh, exasperated at himself from being unable to crack the code of his friends behavior.

The gentle boy brought his hands back down, using them as a support to lean back. Through the window, the scenery was the same as it was from when he looked through it earlier, but it was quieter now. The birds had flown off, leaving the area devoid of the sound of their incessant chirping. Those who were commuting had reached their destinations, only the occasional sound of a car running by a nearby street. It felt as if he were in the apartment by himself, even with Haru there, who was being rather quiet unpacking things in the kitchen.

_It's not as if Haru and I have grown distant or anything._ His expression tightened further. He knew though, despite shooing away the possibility of distance growing between them, that there was definitely something that was bothering Haru. Almost every time they would make accidental physical contact, the timid boy would draw away with a jerk, as if he was burnt from the touch. They were still able to have casual conversations, along with heartfelt ones also, but there were some days that Haruka wouldn't even be able to make eye contact with him for the majority of the time they were together.

These types of days would come at random, completely lacking a definable pattern. With those days, Haruka would wear a stiff expression, one that Makoto had yet to be able to read. _It looks as if he would cry if I pry into it any further, I can tell that at least._

Makoto had no idea what was going on with his best friend, and was especially worried at the fact of not being able to decipher the strange expression Haruka had been showing more often than not lately. His eyebrows furrowed uncharacteristically.

_No, that's not quite right._

He had a small hunch as to what the strange faces meant, though it was more like he wasn't able to figure out the root reason of them. It was if the expressions screamed, _“Don't look at me, I'm sorry, it's my fault. Please give me more time.”_

But it wasn't those answers Makoto was looking for, rather the questions he wanted answered were, “ _Why? Why don't you want me to look at you, why are you sorry, why is it your fault, what do you need time to do?”_

 

At this point in time, Makoto was completely concentrated on these thoughts that were swirling through his mind, questions without answers, answers without questions. He didn't even realize the main reason of all of these questions and answers was approaching him.

“Makoto,” a familiar voice called out to him, knocking Makoto out of his focused state.

“Wah!”

“You'll hurt yourself of you think that hard.” Haruka smirked at he larger boy's reaction.

Makoto was stunned for a short moment, a pout forming after realizing what exactly Haruka had said.

“How mean, I'm hurt.” He gave a playful smile in return, green eyes twinkling. “How's the kitchen looking?”

“All the small stuff is in place, spices, sauces, utensils, the works. Now it just gotta unpack the boxes where we put all the pots and pans in.” Haruka replied coolly. _He seems calmer than he was from before,_ Makoto noted. _Thankfully._

Haruka crouched down to sit on the floor next to Makoto, his blue eyes squinting at the brightness of the sunlight streaming through the window. “I need to get some curtains for that.” He said, using his slender hand to block some of the rays from getting into his eyes.

“What were you thinking about so intensely anyways?” He said, turning to face away from the bright window and towards Makoto, who felt a brief sense of panic at the question.

_Should he confront Haru about what had been going on with him lately?_

In the end, Makoto decided against confronting the idea directly, but he would if he needed to, if things got worse. But right now it was still at a point where Haru and himself were able to return to a normal atmosphere. He would give Haru the time his strange expression begged to have. Makoto wondered what exactly would happen once Haru acquired all of the time he needed. Would things return to the completely normal way it was before?

So, instead of answering with what he was actually thinking about at the time, Makoto brought up a different topic that was also nagging at his busy brain. Though it seemed as if it took a while for Makoto to debate the pros and cons within his mind, in real time it was a mere few seconds. He slipped back into his usual, comfortable smile.

“Mm, I was just thinking about how we actually made it here, together.” Makoto paused, his soft smile widening. “To Tokyo, I mean.”

Haruka scoffed softly at the statement, shaking his head lightly. “Of course you made it to Tokyo. You studied and worked harder than anyone else to get here.”

“No, but I mean you're with me too Haru, I'm so glad we're here together.” A bashful laugh escaped from Makoto's lips, his hand reaching to scratch his cheek a little awkwardly. “To be honest, before I knew you were going to Tokyo too, I felt a little anxious, since you know, it's such a large busy city after all. So I'm just so grateful to have you here with me.”

His grass-green eyes twinkled softly. “Plus, no matter what, I think it'd definitely be strange to not have you with me, considering we've been with each other since we were born, technically.”

Haruka was speechless for a few moments at the sincere statement. He regained his composure a little while after, a large warm smile of his own gracing his features.

“Yeah, same here.” was Haruka's simple reply, but Makoto knew and understood that those three simple words contained more depth and emotion than what may be simply perceived by another person. The words struck a chord within Makoto's chest.

Haruka's pale, slim hand rested nearer to Makoto than the rest of his body. Makoto noticed this, and despite not wanting the atmosphere to turn stiff once more, he followed his urge and reached for Haru's hand with his own anyways, enveloping it in his own, larger hand. He didn't want to let Haru deal with his problems all on his own, after all.

“Wh-!” Haruka was shocked at the sudden contact, a flush that went unnoticed by Makoto creeping down his neck. He jerked his hand back by reflex, but was held in place by Makoto's hand, which was the stronger of the two. He looked up into Makoto's eyes, surprised and flustered, the ocean of blue that were Haruka's irises seemed to be storming in confusion and shock. Makoto looked earnestly into his eyes, his grip on Haru's hand tightening enough to not let him run away, but nowhere near enough to hurt in the slightest. He held his hand in both of his own tanner, more calloused ones.

“You know, Haru,” Makoto started off, lowering his gaze to where their hands connected. His right thumb gently caressed the smooth, white knuckles of Haru's hand. “You can always come to me if you're having any trouble with anything. You know that right?” His voice was soft, as if he were trying not to scare his friend away like a frightened deer.

Haru gulped nervously, trying to avert his eyes, the sensation of Makoto handling his hand so gently made him feel as if his heart were to give out at any given second. He hoped his palm wasn't sweating as much as the rest of him was. Hopefully, Makoto would disregard it.

“Yeah, I know...” Haruka's voice was small and feeble, a miniscule crack in his voice could be heard if one was listening closely.

“Because I don't want you to deal with anything by yourself you know? If anything at all is bothering you, I'd want to be the one you rely on. You're always there for me, so you have to realize I'll always be there for you too.” Makoto gazed sincerely up at Haru's eye's. “It feels like I'm taking advantage of your kindness, so I'd really like it if you would monopolize me more.” His concentration rested once more on their connected palms. Makoto gently squeezed Haru's hand for a second.

Haru was brought out of his mostly silent state what Makoto said, rushing to correct him.

“N-no, that's wrong!”

“Haru?”

“Instead of you taking advantage of me, it's always you who's taking care of me. I'm always relying on _you_ , not the other way around.” He exclaimed in a rush.

“But is there anything that's been bothering you lately? I already said to you I'd rather you not handle whatever it is, alone.” Makoto's tone made it obvious that he was worried.

Haruka made a sound, dismissing Makoto's question. “It's really nothing important,” he insisted. “I just need a little time and things will all be alright, it's nothing to worry about, honest.”

“But Haru, you don't have to fix it by yourself!” Makoto blurted out, his voiced raised a little higher than before.

“Please.” Haru squeezed his eyes shut. He let out a long sigh. “Please Makoto, just.”

“Just give me time to figure things out, just a little more time. I can do this on my own. Please.” He said, the tension he didn't even know was building up, draining from his shoulders, relaxing. “I promise.”

Makoto seemed to consider the claim, torn between forcing the truth out of Haruka, or trusting him. In the end, he was never good at being completely assertive at these types of matters. If Haru needed a little more time, then Makoto would just have to be patient. Makoto let out a deep exhale, his chest heaving from the action.

“Fine. But if it seems that whatever that's going on is getting worse, you're going to have to talk to me about it alright? I really don't like seeing you struggle with things on your own, Haru.”

“Yes, yes, don't worry too much, it really is nothing.” Haru seemed grateful for Makoto giving into his pleas.

Makoto squeezed Haru's lone hand one last time, before he released it. Haru discreetly wiped the clammy palm onto the back of his black sweatpants. Makoto started to stand up, inhaling a lungful of air as he rose. He exhaled and stretched a little, his back unwinding in agreement. He offered a hand to Haru, who still was still on the wood floor, who took it graciously, lifting his lithe body to a standing position.

“Well then, how about we get a start on unpacking the rest of these boxes already?” Makoto spoke with a new found energy. Haru grimaced at the thought of all the work to be done, and sighed for the umpteenth time that day.

“I suppose better now than never...” he said, resignedly.

“Aha, that's the spirit!” Makoto moved across the room to start unpacking the significantly larger box that laid underneath the windowsill.

Haru watched Makoto carefully, who was crouching down to open the cardboard box. The blue eyed boy stared with a passive expression, though his mind and heart was racing a million miles per hour. In that very instant he made a silent vow not only to himself, but Makoto as well. His secret was far too dangerous to carry on this way any longer. He shut his eyes tightly, looking as if he were in pain.

_I will give up on my feelings._

The thought itself, hurt, frankly. But he knew that if their relationship as best friends were to carry on, his romantic feelings would have to go.

 

_This was for the best._

  _I will stop loving Makoto._

 

The busy city of Tokyo was devoid of sound, and thus, was for once, completely quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO SORRY FOR THOSE WHO WERE WAITING FOR THIS CHAPTER TO BE RELEASED DO NOT WORRY I DID NOT DISCONTINUE THE STORY I just had massive writers block and school AND now im just making up excuses but!! I FINALLLYYY finished this chapter like I literally finished it mere minutes ago and it isn't beta'd and its like 2 am SO if there are any mistakes just comment and point at said mistake violently and aggressively please. ty for yall who have been patient 
> 
> special thanks to my squad for listening to me ramble abt this story and for helping me move along the plot like w/o them there woudl. literally be no story sO YA TY TURU VEN CHAN AND JENNI ILY ALL
> 
> speaking of plot I wonder if this chapter even makes sense like just in general? feedback would be good idk if anything in this chapter makes sense im too tired to think properly
> 
> I am so tired and this chap was supposed to be a lot longer but yknow what. the rest can wait for later chapters whatebver
> 
> yell rude things at me @ drawacircletherestheearth.tumblr.com <3


	6. warm current

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Let's say we up and left this town,  
> And turned our future upside down.  
> We'll make pretend that you and me,  
> Lived ever after happily."
> 
> House of Gold  
> -Twenty One Pilots

When Makoto and Haruka were still planning things out during the early stages of the move from Iwatobi to Tokyo, it ended up with them deciding to get separate apartments. Rather, it was more as if Haruka insisted on different flats, with Makoto nodding his head along in agreement. Truthfully, Makoto thought it would be mutually beneficial for the both of them to share an apartment, but the final-like tone to Haru's voice when he announced the fact sounded as if he were completely determined on the separate living spaces. He supposed that perhaps Haru just valued his privacy more than he thought, not wanting to linger on the topic at the time, so Makoto just decided to stay silent on the matter. But due to their natures, one could never really stand to be that far away from the other, for they were connected by an invisible bond for as long as they could remember. Thus, in the end, they remained next-door neighbors.

They lived in a small apartment building, its name Haruka could not recall at the moment, displayed on the weathered brass plaque before the entrance. It was located a good distance away from their respective universities, just close enough for easy commuting. The building was rather short, five stories tall with six apartments on each floor, with Haruka and Makoto located on the third level. Their apartments weren't exactly small, one may say that they were modest. In fact they were rather roomy, more than enough space if two people were to live there, but it would start to feel cramped if there were three. To be honest, one of the main reasons why this building was chosen out of all of the other options was because of the rather sizable bathtub it offered, a luxury Haruka wasn't about to give up from moving to Tokyo.

In fact, Haruka was currently soaking in said tub, weary from the days' events. By the time they had finished unpacking and arranging all of Haru's belongings, it was already early afternoon. The moving truck with both of their furniture wouldn't arrive until tomorrow, so they decided to rest up and meet later to go get something quick to eat. Makoto returned to his apartment next door, which they had unpacked the day before. Just thinking about all of the work they had both done in the past two days made Haruka feel incredibly exhausted, grateful for the water that was unwinding his sore muscles. He sank further into the water, his head just above enough so that his deep blue eyes were still visible.

The boy closed his eyes, letting out a deep sigh, the bubbles rising to the surface of the water in a stream and popping as soon as they formed. Recalling how utterly afraid he was when Makoto had confronted him made a heavy twisting feeling in his gut. How close his secret was about to be brought to light, Haruka absolutely couldn't stand it. He didn't mean to push Makoto away like he was doing, but it seemed as if those… impure dreams he was having about his best friend had been increasing in number with every kind smile, every gentle touch. Haruka felt dirty, sexualizing Makoto, as if he were taking advantage of their friendship. Some days he wouldn't even be able to look Makoto in the eyes because of it, and he knew that Makoto was aware of his strange behavior. He felt bad for leaving Makoto in the dark, but he was the absolute last person on earth that was to know, which brought up another topic that needed to be confronted.

Haruka came up for air, shifting his position in the water, causing the surface to ripple. The toy dolphin he had since times long past was bobbing alongside him. He flicked the nose of the smiling marine animal, which continued to bob without a care in the world. He looked at the toy intently, as if staring down the plastic would provide him with answers.

 _I said I was going to give up on my feelings for Makoto, but how exactly would I even do that in the first place_ , he silently inquired to the dolphin. _It's not as if I never tried to do that before,_ he continued. The dolphin remained silent.

 _Avoiding him like I've been doing lately is out of question now too,_ _he'll just become more concerned_ . Haruka furrowed his eyebrows in concentration, unable to come up with a stable plan. He clicked his tongue in frustration and dunked his body into the water one last time to clear his head, before lifting himself out of the bath. _Whatever, I'll just figure it out later. I'm exhausted_. Flicking his head to rid of the excess water that clung to his dark hair, Haruka took the dolphin from it's place in the water and placed it on its little plastic pedestal next to the bottle of conditioner. He drained the tub and started to dry himself off with the fluffy towel on the rack.

After drying his hair hastily with the towel, Haruka headed straight to the bedroom where he dug through the boxes of clothes to find something simple to wear. He just wanted to take a nap before Makoto came to pick him up to get something to eat. He was about to put on an oversized orange and cream colored t-shirt that he had borrowed from Makoto and never ended up giving back. But before he could put it on, he thought better of it, and considered the fact that he had to start distancing himself from his feelings for his friend sooner or later. Haruka folded the shirt once more and placed it back into the box, pulling out his favorite mascot character t-shirt instead, the one with Hosoeson-kun on the front. He couldn't wait until the movers got here with the dresser, wanting to be able to organize his clothes. The sight of cardboard boxes becoming tiresome, he thought.

He checked his phone that laid beside the futon he had set out just until his bed arrived. He flopped onto said futon, scrolling through his messages. His parents sent a short message that announced they were going to visit his new place by the end of the week, Nagisa asking how Tokyo was so far, and Rei claiming he and Nagisa were going to pay them a visit sometime soon as well. There was also a message from Makoto sent not too long ago stating he was going to drop by around six; it was about four' o clock right now. Haruka decided that he had more than enough time to take a nap, so he went to turn off the light, settled underneath the covers, and fell into a deep slumber.

 

~*~*~*~

 

When six came around on the clock, the sun was still relatively high in the sky, and Makoto was already up and ready to go. He made his way over to Haru's place, grabbing his keys, phone and wallet, stuffing the items into his jean pockets. He locked his apartment, took a few steps to the left, and proceeded to knock on Haru's door, knuckles rapping against the door three times exactly. There was no answer. _Was he not home?_

“Haru, you in there?” Makoto called out, tone a little above what would be considered an indoor voice.

There was still no reply.

Confused, Makoto took the doorknob, hesitantly turning the handle. It wasn't locked. He continued turning the handle, opening the door with ease. He stepped into the seemingly empty apartment.

“Haru?”

Again, no one answered.

He explored the flat, searching for his friend. He poked his head in the bathroom, but there was nothing but an empty tub. The kitchen was devoid of Haru's presence, along with the small living room. Opening the door to the bedroom quietly, Makoto felt a sigh of relief escape his mouth seeing his friend still safely snoozing away on the futon. A small smile formed on his lips, eyes soft. He padded over to the futon and pulled the covers up to Haruka's neck, brushing a stray dark lock of hair gently out of his peaceful, sleeping face. Makoto went to make his way out of the room, closing the door behind him softly. _I'll let him sleep for a little_ _bit longer._

“Sleep well, Haru.”

 

~*~*~*~

 

Haruka woke up a little bit after the sun had started to set. The sky was now a vivid orange, the clouds highlighting the scenery with pink-red hues, the light streaming through his thin curtains. Drowsy from slumber, his right arm flailed out blindly from under the covers, searching for his phone he had placed beside the futon. He lazily brought the screen up to his face, eyes straining from the high brightness setting. The digital clock claimed it to be around 7:30 pm. Wait- 7:30?!

“Wha-!” Haruka gasped, startled. In his shock he ended up dropping his phone on his face, causing him to let out an awkward yelp.

Walking could be heard outside his bedroom door, the sound of the knob turning followed soon after. The door cracked open a bit, enough to let the light from outside the bedroom in.

“Haru? Are you awake already? You could've slept for a little while longer you know.” Makoto's head popped in through the open space. His voice was hushed, almost nearing a whisper.

“Makoto? Why didn't you wake me up, it's already half-past seven!” Haruka exclaimed, sitting up from his place in the futon.

“Well Haru-chan just looked so peaceful sleeping, it's not like I could have woken you up.” Makoto giggled. Haru was in a more disheveled state than he normally was, frantic, with his hair in a state ofbedhead and his shirt all ruffled up. It was a pretty cute sight, honestly.

“Stop it with the -chan already.” Haruka clicked his tongue, disapproving the childish nickname. A tiny blush could be seen forming on his cheeks, the color almost matching the pink clouds in the sky at that moment. “You should've just woken me up, aren't you hungry now?”

Makoto shook his head, walking towards Haruka. “It's not that big of a deal, we'll just go out now?” A sweet smile graced his face.

Haruka sighed, giving up on the subject. “Fine. Just let me get dressed?”

“Mhm, I'll be waiting outside then.” He slipped out into the hall, closing the door once more.

Waiting a few moments until Makoto was away from the room enough so that he wouldn't be able to hear, Haruka let out a long groan, face hidden beneath the palms of his hands. “Ugh...”. _Stupid Makoto_ , the thought wasn't filled with nearly as much bite as he would like it to have had. _Why did he always have to be so stupidly charming and considerate?_ It was completely unfair, surely, to have that much obliviousness and kindness packed into one person.

Haruka flopped back onto the futon once more, returning from the sitting position he had taken up earlier. He blew his bangs out of his face to glare into the blank white ceiling with such intensity that he probably could have burnt holes into the plaster. His eyebrows furrowed further. _And what did Makoto mean by I looked so peaceful sleeping, “it's not as if I could have woken you up” what does that even mean?_ The poor ceiling dealt with the increasing intensity of Haruka's glare, as if him doing so would provide him relief with the frustration he felt toward his best friend. How the hell was he going to get over Makoto at this rate? _He definitely makes it difficult enough in the first place to begin with_ , Haruka mused bitterly to himself.

His stomach growled lowly. Realizing that staring up into the ceiling in thought wasn't going to do anything at this exact moment either, Haruka dragged himself from underneath the covers to actually start to get dressed.

Digging through cardboard boxes once again for the umpteenth time this week, he managed to put together a decent outfit consisting of a light knit sweater with a pair of faded, but still form-fitting, blue denim jeans. Haruka made his way out of the bedroom, bee-lining toward the bathroom down the hall. He splashed his face with cold water to rid of any drowsiness that may have lingered from his nap, wiping the water off with a face towel from the towel rack. He gave himself a once-over, trying his best to pat down his bedhead. Once satisfied with the result of his efforts, he went to the living room where Makoto had been lounging around, waiting for Haru. He was tapping away a message, presumably, on his phone, before he looked up after noticing Haruka's presence. Makoto smiled patiently, setting the device down.

“Ready to go?”

Giving a small nod, Haruka replied.

“Yeah, let's.”

Haruka grabbed his keys and wallet from off the kitchen island, stuffing them into his jean pocket. He shoved his phone into the other pocket. Makoto joined him at the door, both of the boys slipping into their respective sneakers. Just as soon as they were about to exit the apartment, Makoto seemed to remember something.

“Oh! Haru, wait.”

“Hm?”

“It seems as if it's going to get colder later, you should wear a jacket just in case.” Makoto said, speculative about the upcoming temperature for the evening.

Haruka made a face at the suggestion, not being very fond of layers. But after quickly weighing out the pros and cons in his head, he eventually gave into the idea. No need to get sick due to stubbornness before the university term had even started. It was only early spring right now after all, it'd take a little while more before the evenings were warm enough to walk around without a coat.

He took out a simple black jacket from the small coat closet beside the entrance and then promptly began to shrug the article of clothing on. Makoto seemed satisfied by this.

“Okay, now we can head out.” the brunet said, giving a cheery smile.

They exited the apartment, Haruka locking the door after. With a relaxed pace they made their way out of the building, making idle talk.

“So what are we getting to eat?” Haru questioned.

“Hmm,” Makoto racked his brain for ideas. “Well how about ramen? Apparently there's a place around this area that's supposed to be really good, Rin recommended it. Ah, but if you didn't want ramen we could always search around for somewhere else...”

“No, ramen's good, lets go there.” As hungry as he was, Haruka was up for anything at this point. Plus, ramen actually sounded nice right about now.

“Alright, ramen it is!” Makoto declared. “I wonder what I should get...” He continue to ramble on about how Rin claimed that the noodles were absolutely fantastic there, about the various topping combinations and so on, with Haruka listening intently anyways.

They walked a good distance, Makoto guiding both of them through the streets of Tokyo all the while. The outside air was getting a bit chilly just as Makoto had predicted, Haruka was grateful he ended up wearing a jacket in the end. When they arrived, the sky was already beginning to darken, orange pink clouds taking on a more muted hue.

Upon sliding open the traditional doors, Haruka and Makoto were met with an enthusiastic “Welcome!” from the staff. Behind the counter there was a middle-aged man with graying hair stirring a tall, steaming pot full of broth. A significantly younger man who resembled the elder stood alongside him, bustling with bowls of noodles down along the counter. Both wore white chef uniforms. The interior was well decorated and the atmosphere was comfortable, the walls were lined with wooden planks, the color scheme was earthy and warm. The store didn't seem extremely busy at the moment, a few customers were scattered around the establishment eating and chatting. Makoto and Haruka took seats down near the end of the counter. They both took a moment to look at the signs hanging around stating house specials and topping options.

“So what can I get for you boys?” The older man gave a large friendly grin, wiping his hands with a small checkered towel.

“Could I get today's special? With an extra helping of noodles please!” Makoto gave a smile of his own back.

“I'll have the mackerel-topped ramen, thank you.” Haruka said with an undertone of excitement in his voice. His love for the fish made his eyes sparkle at the prospect of the dish.

“Alright, one daily special and one mackerel bowl comin' right up!” The man called over his shoulder to the younger of the two. Haruka caught a flash of a nameplate, the characters that spelled out the name 'Takahashi' were neatly inscribed in black on the shining brass tag. Takahashi, Haruka assumed, shuffled away to a different section behind the counter, presumably to prepare the food for the two of them.

Makoto turned to his friend, giving a toothy smile. “Haru sure is eager, huh?” the larger boy said, giggling.

Haruka turned his head away, mumbling underneath his breath.

“Shut up...” he said, both of them knowing he didn't really mean it. A blush dusted his cheeks lightly.

Haruka took in a deep breath, slowly closing his eyes, the smell of cooking food filling his senses. He gave a glance around. There were three people down on the other end of the counter, all of them wearing suits with undone ties hanging around their neck. They were probably salary men who have just gotten out of work for the day, Haruka noted. To the left, there was a group of five teenage girls all seated at one of the larger tables, happily conversing over steaming bowls of noodles. At some of the farther away tables there were more groups of high-schoolers and a few couples here and there. The buzz of conversation and people didn't feel uncomfortable to Haruka, however. It felt more like a friendly, familial atmosphere, he liked it there.

“It's really nice here, huh Haru-chan? It smells really good too.” Makoto mirrored his own thoughts with a warm expression. Haruka nodded, giving a grunt of agreement in response.

“Haha, well I'm glad you boys think so highly of my humble business!” Takahashi had returned with their food, setting the bowls down with careful precision so as to not spill the soup. “I'm called Takahashi Sen, but I suppose you've already seen the tag.” he said, gesturing to said name plate with grin. “This over here is my son, but you can just call him junior.” He finished by patting his son roughly on the shoulder, giving a hearty laugh.

The son gave a small glare over to his fathers direction. “Dad please, you have to stop telling people they can call me that.” he huffed. He turned to face Haruka and Makoto. “I apologize, My name is Takahashi Keichi, very pleased to make your acquaintance. Call me Keichi if you wish.” He gave a small bow and smile at the end of his self introduction. Keichi seemed to be of average build, from what they could tell with the chefs uniform on. He had short-cropped, curly black hair and stern golden eyes that suited his serious expression.

“It's nice to meet you both also!” Makoto replied, Haruka nodding along silently. “I'm Tachibana Makoto, and my friend's name is Nanase Haruka. This really is a lovely place you have here, family business?”

“You betcha, we've been around here since my own old man made the place, just renovated a few years ago actually.” Takahashi Sr. answered. Keichi seemed to be contemplating something Makoto had said before.

“Ah, speaking of which, I don't believe we've seen your faces around here before. Though you both seem familiar...” Keichi noted.

“Yeah, actually Haru and I just moved to Tokyo so we're pretty new to the city.”

“Only just finished moving in today, actually.” Haruka added.

“You boys must be exhausted, are both of you perhaps heading into university in the upcoming semester?”

“Mmhm, I'll be studying sports mechanics and Haru's going into pro swimming. We're at different universities though.” Makoto scratched lightly at his cheek.

“Ooh, impressive! Keichi here is actually going into pro swimming himself! He's pretty good if I should brag, haha.”

Keichi seemed to finally gather his thoughts together in his head, face lighting up as the pieces he was searching for earlier fell into place.

“I may be speaking out of turn but, might the two of you be Nanase Haruka and Tachibana Makoto from the Iwatobi high school swimming club? The ones on the relay team that placed in sixth during nationals this past summer? I apologize if I have mistaken you both for other people, though I am quite sure that you might be them.” Keichi looked expectantly at them.

Haruka and Makoto were stunned at the accusation before they could gather their thoughts to answer. Makoto gave a hearty laugh. Keichi looked confused.

“Was I incorrect after all…?” The boy asked worriedly.

“No, no don't worry you're right, how did you even recognize us? I'm surprised!”

“I was on the relay team in the lane next to yours actually,” He inquired. “Though we had placed lower than Iwatobi.” He added as an afterthought.

“I remember how much passion and strength your team had possessed that day. I'd just like to say it truly touched my heart.” Keichi gave a warm smile.

At that moment, the entrance slid open to reveal a group of people that began to enter the restaurant. The father and son duo looked up from their place behind the counter and began to greet the incoming crowd.

“Well enough talking for now, we'll let you two get to your food before it gets cold, ahaha!” Takahashi Sr. exclaimed, leaving to prepare for orders. “Let us know if you need anything!”

“It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Nanase-san, Tachibana-san. I do hope we will cross paths again.” Keichi gave a nod before heading over to his station.

“They were really nice, I like them.” Haru stated.

“Haha, Keichi-san reminds me of Rei a lot, the two of them would probably get along really well.” Makoto claimed. Haruka agreed.

“Well, let's start digging in shall we? I'm starved!”

“Let's.”

 

~*~*~*~

 

The ramen was, as they had expected, absolutely delicious. The noodles were firm, and the broth flavorful. The meat was tender and Haru's salt-grilled mackerel filet that topped the bowl of noodles was just the way he preferred it. Needless to say, being the two hungry, tired, growing teenagers that they were, they devoured the food with hunger they weren't even aware they had possessed. They finished their meals faster than either of them had expected to. The two of them both let out contented sighs once they had downed the last of their food.

“Phew… I'm so full.” Makoto patted his stomach. “That was probably the best ramen I've had in a long time.”

“Yeah, the Takahashi's cooking skills are nothing to be scoffed at, that's for sure.” Haru closed his eyes, leaning back on his stool a bit. “To think that mackerel could be grilled to such perfection-!”

“Pff, Haru-chan, is the mackerel all that mattered to you?” Makoto teased lightly.

“Hush, you know what I meant.” Haru shushed.

Makoto threw his head back and laughed.

“Takahashi-san, could we get the bill now please?” Makoto called out in an appropriately loud tone. Takahashi Sr. turned to look towards Makoto, giving a large grin.

“No bill for you two, this one's on the house!” He shouted back.

“W-wait, huh?” Makoto began to stand up from his seat. “Oh no, we couldn't possibly accept!” The brown haired boy exclaimed. Haruka stood up as well.

“Please let us pay, Takahashi-san!” Haruka agreed with his friend.

“No way, I ain't budging.” Takahashi Sr. concluded. “How about you think of this as a 'Welcome to Tokyo' present?”

“Are you sure? We don't want to take advantage of your kindness...” Makoto said.

“No kindness being taken advantage of, it's a present, a present.” He claimed, flicking his hands in a motion as if he were shooing the two of them out. “I like you boys, so just promise to come back, you hear?”

“It's no use trying to change his mind once he get's like this, I'd like to add.” Keichi chimed in.

“Yup!”

Makoto and Haruka sighed once more in unison.

“Alright then. In that case, thank you very much for the meal, it was delicious.”

“It was wonderful, thank you.”

“Bahaha! No problem, we'll see you two boys soon I hope!” Takahashi Sr. gave a wave, Keichi also giving a small wave of his own.

“Thank you once again!”

“Have a nice evening.”

They turned their backs on Haruka and Makoto to resume working. Haruka began to shrug his jacket back on, turning to face Makoto. When doing so, the table where the group of teenage girls came into his vision. He hadn't really paid any mind or interest to the group before, except he had noticed that the louder chattering had dissolved into giggles and hushed whispers. They were playfully pushing around one girl in particular who seemed to be blushing madly and had been glancing over at Makoto's general direction all the while. Haruka's good mood had deteriorated somewhat, knowing what was going to happen next. He narrowed his eyes and turned away, clicking his tongue.

“I'll be waiting for you outside.” Haruka made his way for the door, speaking curtly to Makoto.

Makoto was confused for a moment at what Haru had said, but soon realized what he meant after he turned around when he received a tap on his shoulder. A petite girl in a high school uniform with a face as red as a tomato had begun to speak up.

“U-uhm excuse me...”

Haruka slid the door shut after he had exited, not wanting to hear the conversation that was going to take place. He huffed, annoyed at having to wait for Makoto to be done getting hit on. He could hear the squeals from the group of girls all the way outside. Haruka grit his teeth, starting to become annoyed beyond belief. He took deep breaths to calm himself down, it's not like it was Makoto's fault that he was just _**that**_ handsome, now was it? It wasn't as if he was _**asking**_ to be hit on, right? Right?

Relaying those thoughts to himself those things did nothing to calm his annoyance, though.

Just as he was about to release a long sigh, the sliding doors opened up once more, revealing the source of his woes. Makoto stood there, with an apologetic expression on his face, the light from the indoors shining behind him, making it seem as if he were bathed in a heavenly halo. Haruka was stunned for a moment, then berated himself being so easily swayed. He was supposed to be getting _over_ his crush, not falling _deeper_ in it. Makoto closed the door shut.

“Aah, sorry about that Haru, I completely didn't expect that.” Makoto sighed heavily. Haru decided to cut him some slack. _It's not like it was really his fault anyways_ , Haruka kept trying to tell himself, over and over.

“It's fine,” He replied in a way he believed to be calm. “What did she need to talk to you about, anyways?”

“She, uh, wanted to give me her number, I guess.” Makoto sheepishly scratched the back of head.

“Popular as ever, I see.” Haruka joked lightly.

Makoto gave an exaggerated pout. “What's that supposed to mean Haru-chan?”

“Oh, nothing,” was his simple response. “Did you end up accepting it?” Haruka feigned disinterest.

“Ah, no. I didn't want to lead her on.” Makoto said, the look of guilt still evident on his expression.

“Hey, don't dwell on it too much, you did the right thing.” Haruka tried to ignore his own mixture of relief and guilt as he comforted Makoto.

“You're right, I shouldn't think about it too much.” The taller boy drew in a deep breath, exhaling the air out of his lungs. Makoto straightened out his posture, standing at full height, and turned to face Haruka.

“Let's start heading home.” He gave a wide smile, green eyes closed and cheeks rosy from the cool air of the outside.

“Yeah.”

 

_'Home'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy poop ok here it is finally it took like over a month BUT it is here!! I actually wrote a lil bit more than this but im getting tired and after looking at the part I took out, it looks super convoluted and depressing LOL so here!!! ramen date have fun with that  
> im getting kinda attached to keichi-kun (ps hes gonna b harus uni bud!!!) I didn't actually mean to have the takahashis have so much dialogue it just kinda happened whoops oh well heres a cute old man and his cute son
> 
> I didn't beta this and it took me like all day to write like one half of this so just yell at me if theres anyfin wrong OR if u wanna gimme some constructive crit!! i love that stuff ok ty ily all
> 
> TY TO EVERYONE WHO HAS READ THIS FIC SO FAR, AND TY TO MY CREW FOR HELPIN ME KEEP THIS FIC GOIN ILY MY CHILDREN YALL KNOW WHO YOU ARE EXCEPT FOR CHAN DAMMIT CHAN READ MY DAMN FIC ALREADY 
> 
> beat me up @ drawacircletherestheearth.tumblr.com or follow me on twitter!! @melodical_blitz OR if you REALLY wanna u can see my cute selfies and drawings on insta @harumakos haha look at me shamelessly self promoting


	7. like a tourist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I will always be yours forever and more  
> Through the push and the pull  
> I still drown in your love  
> And drink 'til I’m drunk  
> And all that I’ve done,  
> Is it ever enough?"
> 
> Ever Enough  
> -A Rocket To The Moon

The cool water rushed over Haruka's body as he swam with vigor. He could feel each of his muscles in his body working together, the movement of limbs pushing past the force of the water that engulfed his being. The turn was coming up. Athletically, he flipped in time with toned legs pushing off the surface of the pool wall with strength gained from his land training. Haruka could feel himself gliding through the opening he carved out with his arms and hands as the water allowed his body to push forward, legs kicking all the while. The wall of the pool was fast approaching. In a few strokes, his hand finally touched the wall. Haruka stood at the end of the lane, whipping his hair out of the water and allowing himself to catch his breath once more. He pulled his swim cap and goggles from the place where they rested on his head, bunching them in his hand. Haruka looked up, expecting his gaze to be met with a familiar, strong, tanned hand, but was instead met with the sight of a hand he was quite not as familiar with. He took the not quite familiar hand anyways, lifting his self out of the pool.

 

“Good work Nanase-san, you did great as usual!” the owner of the hand, Takahashi Keichi exclaimed. “You've improved your personal best even.” he said, referring to the stopwatch and clipboard he held in his other hand. Haruka reached for his towel that was resting on the bench, beginning to dry himself off.

 

“Is that so? Thanks.” Haruka replied, voice muffled by his towel as he wiped his face. He let out a sigh, starting to feel his fatigue catch up with him, his limbs heavy. At that moment, Coach Takano, one of the swim team coaches, came over from the place where he was observing. He was an older man for sure, but was not quite yet middle aged. The years have begun to show, however, through the forming wrinkles on his face and the few streaks of gray marking his hair. Despite this, it seemed as if his eyes were always twinkling with an inkling of youth.

 

“Takahashi-kun, Nanase-kun, already done with the times for today?” the coach commented with a pleased grin on his face. The both of them turned to face him, giving a small bow of respect. Coach Takano waved it off. “No need to be so formal boys, ah, could I see the clipboard Takahashi-kun?”

 

Keichi handed the board over to Takano, who studied the detailed records on it with immense concentration. He hummed along as he processed the information, formulating advice to give to the two of them. Takano seemed pleased by the results, if the sounds he made after reading over the newest records were of any indication.

 

“Ooh, good work you two, these times for today are excellent improvements! I can see you both have been working incredibly hard. Now, here are some things to work on.” he announced. Haruka and Keichi listened intently.

 

“Takahashi-kun, you seem to have trouble conserving your strength at the beginning, so make sure to pace yourself accordingly. Perhaps time your breathing with your strokes, practice this also when doing land training, always keep to a beat. Also it would benefit you as a butterfly swimmer to increase your flexibility so keep that in mind when working out with certain equipment.” Keichi nodded, taking this information into mind.

 

“Now, Nanase-kun, I can see that the new land training regimen I had recommended the other week has already begun to help! That being said, your kicks are still lacking in power, especially after the turn. I believe this is due to the exertion of the first turn eating away at your endurance, your legs must get tired soon after, correct? It'd be best to focus on endurance training.” Haruka took this advice into consideration. It was true, after the turn he did begin to feel pretty tired…

 

“Okay and I think that's all for now, are there any questions?” Coach Takano asked after he was finished. They shook their heads. “Alright, then you two can go home earlier than usual today. Good work, see you both on monday, don't slack on your personal training now!” He said loudly, ending off in a booming laugh. Haruka and Keichi excused themselves, then took their belongings and made their way to the locker rooms.

 

As they walked along the poolside, Haruka took the large room into view. The university had an Olympic-sized swimming pool, the sharp scent of chlorine wafting through the air as multiple persons were splashing down the long lanes. The dome roof above was paned with glass, much like Samezuka's pool, the sunset making the light blue glow of the pool lights contrast with its warm yellows and oranges. Haruka combed through his tangled bangs, water dripping from their wet strands. He stared longingly at the pool. Truthfully, he had wanted to swim more, but his coaches always made sure to –strongly- remind him to not over-train, so he reluctantly obeyed. He let out a small sigh.

 

Keichi took note of his disposition.

 

“Are you alright, Nanase-san?”

 

“Yeah, I'm okay, just thought it'd be nice to swim more is all.” Haruka voiced out his thoughts honestly from earlier.

 

Keichi chuckled. “You really do have a special connection with the water, don't you?” He said more as a statement rather than a question. Haruka didn't give a response, allowing the silence that preceded answer for him instead. They began to head to the locker room. Unbeknownst to Haruka, a pair of dark green eyes from across the pool followed him as he walked alongside Keichi. The owner of the eyes smiled a questionable smile to themselves, eyes glinting in thought. The stranger snapped on their own goggles and cap before diving back into the pool to finish up their laps for the day.

 

Once in the locker room, by habit both Haruka and Keichi went to the showers to wash off the pool water that clung to their bodies, the chlorine already starting to dry out their hair and skin. They scrubbed efficiently, exiting mere minutes after they entered. They would gather their belongings from their respective lockers, and begin to make the commute home. Keichi would always walk part of the way with him, until he had to make the turn to get to the train station. They would exchange goodbyes, and proceed to go their separate ways. This was their routine.

 

It came as a surprise that Keichi was actually enrolled in the same university as himself. Haruka remembered the moment when he saw the familiar figure seated at the front of the lecture hall on the first day. Since the both of them were pursuing professional swimming, they ended up having most of their classes together. This, together along with training, the two of them ended up being around each other more than not, so it was natural that they had become acquainted as friends.

 

Keichi was a rather simple person; he was kind and polite and did not like to speak more than was needed, though he was not against small talk. He was reasonable and methodical in his ways; a person who took things he did seriously. Though sometimes due to his disposition, his sense of humor was something that needed to be worked on. Because of this, jokes easily flew past his head. He specialized in butterfly, though his breaststroke was nothing to laugh at either. He also became flustered very easily, if the antics between him and his father had proven anything. Keichi was good company to have around, making the transition to the big city a little easier.

 

After they parted ways for the day, Haruka shoved his hands into the pockets of his sports jacket, pulling out his phone. The small light was blinking green, signifying there was an unread message. Haruka unlocked the device, swiping to his inbox, finding a missed text from Makoto that was sent from earlier in the day. Haruka felt his heart skip, before inwardly scolding himself for letting himself become so easily swayed just from the sight of Makoto's name. “It's just Makoto, what are you getting so excited about? Stupid.” He spoke quietly under his breath, berating himself before tapping the option to view the text.

 

**To: nanase_haru1997@iwatobigogo.jp**

**From: tachibana_makoto1997@iwatobigogo.jp**

**Sent at: 2:30 PM, XX/XX/14**

Sorry Haru, I don't think I'll be able to make it for dinner today :(

There's supposed to be a study group tonight and it completely slipped my mind,

I'll try to make it up to you next time!!

 

He sighed dejectedly, feeling disappointed from the contents of the message. It had already been awhile since the last time they'd been able to meet up.  _'Oh well,'_  the boy thought inwardly ' _This is for the best, anyways.'_  Haruka checked the time. Already 6:43. He sighed, shoving the phone back into his pocket.  _'I guess there's no need to reply, it’s already been a few hours since he sent it.'_  He hiked his bag over his shoulder, and began to make his way down the path to his apartment.  _'Might as well take my time getting back.'_ He let his thoughts wander as he trudged his way down the quiet street, a more secluded residential area, one a little separated from the more urban parts of Tokyo.

 

Now that he thought about it, it had already been a few months since the move from Iwatobi to the city, Haruka mused. Without even realizing it, the time had already passed by so quickly. In the midst of moving and everything that had been going on, it had never really hit him that hewasn't in Iwatobi anymore, the home he always knew _._

 

 _'Home.'_ The single word permeated his mind.

 

The thought of Tokyo being 'home' was foreign and didn't feel quite right, like a new pair of shoes that still needed to be broken into. The air, the streets, the people, everything was different from the quiet little seaside town in which he had grown up in. Yet the city of Tokyo itself did not feel as different as he has expected it to be.

 

 _'Wonder why that is.'_  The boy pondered.  _'Well, whatever.'_  He brushed off the subject, the apartment complex in view.

 

Haruka walked briskly in the direction of his apartment, the sky threatening to darken further at any moment. He stopped in his tracks abruptly, however, after recognizing that it was indeed his unit with the lights on, the indoor light shining from the terrace window.  _'Did I not turn off the lights before leaving this morning…?'_  He stared, confused, before swallowing his courage to approach the building. He adjusted the sports bag that hung over his shoulder before climbing the stairs that led to the third level. He stepped carefully towards his door, testing the knob to check if it was unlocked. It was. He double checked the apartment number. It was.

 

'Is it a burglar?' His hand shook as he let go of the handle, apprehensive to open the door after this thought. He usually wasn't affected by scary things; in fact it was him usually being the one being used as a wall to hide behind. But he had heard some pretty bad stories from his parents about burglaries and raids in Tokyo. Haruka shuddered. God, big city life was terrifying.

 

Haruka made a small prayer under his breath, before gathering his courage, turning the knob slowly. He stepped into the room with light feet, ducking behind the small divider that separated the entrance way from the kitchen, not wanting to alert anyone that might have been there of his presence.

 

His eyes scanned the living room, not a thing out of place. His ears perked up at the sound of a pan sizzling from the kitchen, the unmistakeable smell of mackerel wafting through the air. That was odd. Was the burglar eating his mackerel? Now that was just unlikely, he berated himself for the second time that day for the silly thought. He moved to look over the divider, foot nudging against something in the entrance way. His head whipped down to inspect the object. It was a familiar pair of orange sneakers. Humming sounded through the air in a voice that was also familiar. He narrowed his eyes. Haruka popped his head up over the divider to verify his suspicions.

 

“Makoto?”

 

“waAAH!” A startled screech sounded from the back of the brunet's throat.

 

The young man that stood before his stove was visibly alarmed from the sudden call of his name, shoulders jerking in surprise. The mackerel he was plating at that exact moment from the pan flew out of his possession, landing on the floor behind him with a dull thud. He turned his head uncertainly in the direction of the entry way, face pale from fright, voice small.

 

“H-haru?”

 

 

~*~*~*~

 

 

“So what happened to that study group you said there was today?” Haruka brings the subject up after they've cleaned up the mess made from earlier. The pair were sitting down at the low table in the living room with new plates of mackerel, bowls of rice, miso soup, and some side dishes Haruka's mother had brought over from the day before. Makoto rubbed the back of his head bashfully.

 

“Aah, well, turns out some of the others had forgotten also and made plans for today so we just moved the date.” He shrugged before continuing. “So I decided I would try to uh, surprise you...” He chuckled nervously at the end of his sentence. Haruka snickered, Makoto's face flushing red.

 

“Geez, and here I thought you were some burglar.” Haru sighed lightly, pointing his chopsticks in Makoto's direction accusingly.

 

“I thought  _you_  were the burglar, my heart was about to jump out of my chest there!” Makoto retorted passionately, Haruka laughing some more at this response. “You came back earlier than I expected, actually.” Makoto pondered aloud.

 

“Eh, coach let me out early since my times were good today.” Haru shrugged nonchalantly. Makoto brightened up at this statement.

 

“Wow, Haru that's great! I'm proud to hear you're working so hard.” Makoto gave a big grin, Haruka ducked his head modestly. “How's Keichi-san doing these days? We haven't been able to drop by their shop recently.” He asked.

 

“He's doing fine, the shop's been getting a lot of business ever since the term started.” Haru answered simply, taking a bite of fish.

 

“Hehe, that's good to hear.” Makoto gave a smile, eyes crinkling at the corners, before starting on his own food. “Oh by the way, Rin messaged me just a bit earlier,” He started. “He's supposed to come visit just a week before the start of Obon next month, so the others are all planning to come up here to get together before we all go back to Iwatobi that next week.”

 

“Hm? I didn't hear about this, he didn't message me.” Haruka mumbled in response, salty.

“Well, he was complaining about how you never answer your phone, so I was in charge of passing the message along to you...” Makoto answered, scratching his head sheepishly. Haruka began grumbling.

“Do I really not answer my phone that often..?” Makoto gave a laugh. “To be fair you _have_  been answering it more lately.” Makoto stated. Haruka pouted, turning his head to the side, eliciting another laugh out of the green eyed boy.

 

“Whatever.” Haru ended simply, starting on his food once more. Makoto lowered the hand he used to hide his smile, eyes still twinkling with amusement.

 

From then they spoke of their own experiences that happened to them in the time they were apart, of what their antics their classmates got themselves into, assignments and teachers, or the cute stray cats outside of the building that Makoto almost got caught feeding the other day. As they reconnected after being away from the other for so long, both of them felt a sense of relief, unknown stresses that had built up melting away. This feeling of comfort, it was like...

 

Like something familiar.

 

Like a pair of shoes that have been broken into.

 

An idle thought surfaced in both their minds.

 

_'Like home.'_

 

 

 

~*~*~*~

 

 

 

Haruka let out a large yawn with enough force to rack his body, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes, feeling well rested. It was early in the morning, the sky a pastel lilac as the sun rose from the horizon like a waking god. The city was mostly silent, not much of the residents awake at this time considering it were the start of the weekend. Haruka found himself focusing on the endurance training he was recommended to do. He shifted the gym bag that slung from his shoulder and set off running at a brisk pace towards his universities' gym. As he ran the distance, he carefully paid attention to his breathing and form without stopping. When the building was in sight, he slowed down to a jog to cool off, until he reached the entrance. Using a clean hand towel, he began to mop up the sweat that had formed while taking large gulps of water from his water bottle to rehydrate himself. 

 

There were a few students lingering here and there in the gyms entrance, most likely there for the same reason as him. Haruka checked in swiftly and headed towards the locker room, throwing his belongings into his locker before heading to the workout area, which also had a few people scattered around. To build his endurance like Coach Takano had recommended, first he would have to work on strengthening his legs, so he designated that day’s work out to legs only. He rotated around stations, mentally keeping track of the number of squats he had done, repetitions he had completed, etc.

 

Unbeknownst to him, however, the pair of dark green eyes from the day before had also been taking in his form today as well. The owner of the eyes seemed to have finished their workout by this point, making their way out of the room. As they passed by Haruka, their gaze remained fixated on him, that questionable smile forming once more on their lips. Of course, Haruka had no clue that any of this was happening, for he had been engrossed in whatever he had been doing.

 

When he decided that it had been enough for today, Haruka cleaned up after himself and headed once more to the locker room to shower and go home. Last night, he and Makoto had planned to go swimming together today since they were both free, so he had wanted to make some lunch for the both of them before that. Haruka was ecstatic, though it might not have shown completely in his mostly neutral expression. It had been much too long in his opinion since the last time he was able to swim with Makoto. He ran through possibilities of things he would make for lunch for the two of them, making a list in his mind for the ingredients he had to pick up from the store on his way back. He had just been on his way out of the locker room, lost in his internal musings, before he had bumped into a broad, solid figure. Haruka began to speak up, apologetic in his tone.

 

“Ah, excuse me-“

 

“Nanase Haruka, I believe?” The stranger questioned, a small, questionable smile spread on his face, eyes closed.

 

Haruka answered warily, suddenly suspicious of this stranger “ ...yes, that’s me. Do I know you?”

 

The person threw up their hands in a defensive manner, “Ah, sorry, sorry I guess since we haven’t worked together yet you don’t recognize me. My name’s Ito Kiyoshi, I’m on the same uni swim team as you, ah, but more importantly...”

 

“More importantly?”

 

Kiyoshi opened his eyes, revealing the dark green that lay beneath.

 

“Would you mind coming with me for a bit? I promise it won’t take long.”

 

 

 

~*~*~*~

 

 

 

Haruka was led to a small break area near the entrance area, complete with cushioned benches and nearby snack machines. Kiyoshi returned from one of the machines, holding two cups of steaming green tea, handing one over to Haruka, who thanked him. Kiyoshi blew away some of the steam that was rising from the top of his drink before taking a sip. The heat from the paper cup seeped into Haruka’s cold hands as he analyzed the person in front of him. Kiyoshi was a rather large person, stature rivalling that of Makoto’s, or even Sousuke’s. His features were handsome and defined, giving off a mature aura. He had dark, spiked short hair and forest green eyes set into a default easy going expression, though Haruka couldn’t say for sure that it was truly easy going, something about that smile tipped him off...

 

“So, what did you need to talk to me about, Ito?” Haruka finally asked.

 

“You can just call me Kiyoshi if you want.” He said, lips stilled at the rim of his cup. Haruka shrugged at the suggestion. Kiyoshi put down his cup.

 

“Well, I suppose it’s better to get to the point,” He said, rolling around his shoulders, pops sounding from his joints, before relaxing into a sigh. Kiyoshi made direct eye contact with Haruka, which startled him somewhat. The intense forest green bore into his own, making him feel exposed. It was a little uncomfortable, actually.

 

“You see, I’ve taken a, let’s say,” The young man paused for a moment, looking for the right wording to use. His hands were folded in front of him with a stillness.

 

“An, _interest_ in you, so to speak.” He finished, ending the sentence off with a smile, eyes closed, head tilted.

 

 

Wait.

_What._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO IM SO SORRY TO WHOEVER WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS CHAPTER I WAS A BUTT AND IM STILL NOT VERY HAPPY WITH HOW I ENDED THIS OFF but i decided its better now than never right??? thank you for your patience 
> 
> WOAH!! NEW CHARACTER!!! HOW EDGE!!! look at me trying to make things all dramatic lmao 
> 
> from here on it's hopefully going to go into pretty rocky territory (finally!!! ive been wanting to write the angst this entire time!!!!)  
> hopefully my writers block will wear off, this new school semester seems promising so if things go well ill be able to write more :)
> 
> as always thank you sos sos o SO much to whoever reads this fic, it really means a lot to me, esp those who kudos and bookmark (nudge nudge ;))
> 
> this chapter is unbeta'd as always so please let me know if there are any mistakes!
> 
> please beat my ass @ drawacircletherestheearth.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> hellooo thank you so much for reading this! I've loved free! ever since it was a tiny little meme as the swimming anime on tumblr, so I thought it was about time I contributed to the fanbase even though I am totally poop at writing (I try though!).
> 
> also writing is really hard I feel?? this was originally supposed to be the first part in a whole chapter but I find it hard to write more than 1k words at a time so just think of this chapter as a prologue "calm before the storm" type of deal.
> 
> the title is a lyric is from the twenty one pilots song "Truce" it's really good so u should check that out. I actually just had trouble coming up with a title so I just picked it from a list or random songs I liked.
> 
> i'll probably change the summary later too bc idk how I feel about it either.
> 
> I didn't have a beta for this so if anyone wants to give some constructive crit or typos or maybe just wants to tell me I suck (don't really I might actually cry LOL) or anything pleas e please message me I have no idea what my own writing looks like to other people.
> 
> ty to turu for helping me plot and listen to me ramble about this thing at like 4 am so lets give a hand to her *applause*
> 
> this AN is long lol ok ill stop here
> 
> hit me up at drawacircletherestheearth.tumblr.com ;)


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